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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Friday, May 21, 2010

I called the library and checked. There's "Passion Pretzel" and "The Linguini" but no "Wishbone"

Yesterday at work my co-worker asked, "Do you wishbone with Junior?"

"Wishbone?" I asked. I made a face. "Wishboning" sounded kinky, like something out of Cosmo's Kama Sutra: 77 Mind Blowing Sex positions book, if one were to own such a book.

I said if.

She reached into her purse and handed me this:



A bag of bones.

They looked like little reindeer antlers. That made me sad and a little nauseous, like there had been a miniature reindeer massacre at her house and she brought me the aftermath. So I could "wishbone" with my toddler.

"Thank you?" I said.

"You have to wishbone with Junior. He'll love it. Do you know how?"

"You each pull an end and whoever gets the longer piece, their wish comes true?" Duh?

"There's a big roaster bone in there."

"I see."

I went home and emptied the carnage onto my chair.



When Junior came running in I thought, let's do this. Let's see if this is the Norman Rockwell experience my co-worker promised. Maybe instead of reading together at bed time we should have been wishboning. I mean shit, this could be big.

"Pull, Junior! Make a wish!"

When the bone snapped, he was holding the bigger piece.

"What was your wish?" I asked.

"Chooooooooo! Choooooooooooo!"

"Was that fun, sweetie?"

"Chooooooooooooo!"

I'm going to give them a proper burial after all.

R.I.P, little woodland creatures. R.I.P.

19 comments:

Stacie said...

*with a puzzled look* Who the hell carries around a baggie full of bones? Well, obviously your co-worker.

*still puzzled*

I'm kind of at a loss of words on this one.

Lindy said...

OMG - I'm with Stacie.

WHO carries a bag of wishbones with them?!

*still puzzled* too.

Pricilla said...

The publicist save the wishbone from the first chicken the male person slaughtered.

It was mighty tasty - or so she said.

Then she forgot about it and found it 6 months later in a drawer.

The publicist says don't have brain surgery and hide wishbones.

kyooty said...

sooooooo she's sacrificing chickens at home?

Doris Sturm said...

This is a bit bizarre of a custom, but hey, we're only human and those are mere fowl!

Maybe a larger creature would find it entertaining tearing us apart at the crotch...but that's just how the cookie crumbles - or the bone snaps!

Nicole said...

I don't understand. Does she random carry a bag of bones around? And why did she have so many. We usually get one with our Thanksgiving turkey in Nov and the kids fight over it and its gone. Thats a lot of bones.

Frogs in my formula said...

I think she was carrying the bones around, waiting to find someone with a kid!

I think?

Life As I Know It said...

My father used to save wishbones. He would line them all up on the kitchen window sill. It used to freak my friends out when they came over to play. So, you see, your co worker isn't the only one with a wishbone thing.
I'm a vegetarian, though.

The Mother said...

That's. Just. Gross.

Julia said...

LOL. I am amazed at the assortment of co workers you have. How do you get all the interesting (and by interesting, I mean strange and avoidable folks) and I have boring folks?

I just can't get the same kind of stories from work.

Julia said...

Oh, and I knew about the whole wishbone thing. I'd just never thought to save them for other folks. My mom used to save the Thanksgiving turkey wishbone and we'd get to do our wishin' for like new shoes and pants without holes in the knees. ;)

Brandy said...

That's weird. It's one thing if it's your own wishbones but that's not really something you hand off.

rachel... said...

I'll occasionally dry out a wishbone on the kitchen window sill for the kids to fight about, but I don't usually save them up. My daughter would, though, if I let her. She'd save every damn chicken bone that comes into the kitchen. Weirdo.

Lana@The Kids Did WHAT?! said...

I grew uo doing the wishbone thing.My boyfriend had never heard of it.

Kind of creepy that she carried them around with her though. Who knows. Maybe they came in handy one day. Like if her car broke down in the middle of nowhere. Just pull out the wishbone and wish for a tow truck? Hey, it's plausible. :P

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I really do not know what to say. I've heard of doing this after thanksgiving, but not carrying around a bag full of them. . . yikes!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I'm with Stacie - who in their right mind carries around a bag of bones? And I had to giggle (hysterically) over the description of them being tiny reindeer antlers. Poor deer.

Chooooooo!! Chooooooo!!!

Sara said...

Hahahahaha! You attract the weird ones, don't you? We do the wishbone, if I remember, but it's not an "event". lol

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

eeeeyuck!!! And, I'm not even vegetarian!!

Otter Thomas said...

That cracked me up from the sack of bones to the choo choo. The bone lady clearly has problems.

And you're right. My first thought was Kama Sutra.