Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts


In 17 days, this blog will be two years old. I’ve written 400 posts. If I spent an hour on each post, that’s 400 hours that I’ve devoted to blogging, or 2.3 weeks. That doesn’t make me feel so bad about blogging. I mean really, what’s two weeks?

Chuck and I spent two weeks on our honeymoon. We went to Italy, rented a car and hit the road. No reservations, nothing. This is one of my favorite pictures:

We were in Genova. Chuck befriended a man, who invited us over to his place. He let us take pictures from the roof of his apartment. We stayed for espresso, and the man said he could read people's fortunes in coffee grinds. He told me my mother is high maintenance. Shocker. Still, I'll take that over hearing that I'm Amish and there's a dead sea caption drinking in my dining room.

This is after a lot of grappa:

One of my coworkers has purple-gray hands. We’ve been calling him Cadaver Hands. Sometimes when I’m tempted to snack at my desk, I imagine Cadaver Hands passing me a potato chip. It’s really quite effective.

Wow, man, 400 hours. If I’d used that time differently, I could have lost five pounds. Or given my notice.

What if aliens occasionally land on Earth to see how the human race is progressing? What if they keep landing in really unfortunate places? Like Paris Hilton’s house. Or the house of the Jersey Shore beef patties.

I can just see the aliens' memo to the Supreme Leader: "Cockroach still most intelligent form of life. Will try again in 3010.”

I know Paris Hilton is an easy target, but she still turns my stomach. I believe that people with wealth and power should do their part to better society. I bet if she sold her handbag collection, she could feed a small country with the profits. Maybe she needs a philanthropic advisor. If she gave me a million dollars to play with, I'd start a foundation that would enable mothers with shitty maternity leave to spend an entire year at home with their baby (assuming they wanted to). I would call it the Paris Isn’t a Total Selfish Douche Foundation. Thoughts?

I still haven’t stuffed anything. Because I've been blogging. Duh.

For more randomness, go see the Un Mom. She's blogged 400 hours today alone.


Brandy said...

ahhhh- italy.

I am Harriet said...

Italy sounds nice :)

Have a great Tuesday!


Ms. Salti said...

Love the pics! I so want to visit Italy someday. If you become Paris's advisor, I will support your efforts 100%! I think you should write to her and tell her about the handbag idea... it's a good one! And WTF is the deal with Jersey Shore? Really, people? Really?

Lindy said...

What's up with your office? sex man, cadavar hands...I worry about you on a daily (M-F) basis.

Everyday Goddess said...

Love the post grappa picture!

Just over from The Un Mom ~ love the Random.

The Crazy Coxes said...

Love Italy!!!! Love it!

I'm with you on Paris and those stupid Jersey Shore people. Awful!

I sometimes get purplish hands. They are shocking/ugly looking. Next time my hands are that color, I will volunteer to share something I normally wouldn't share - like cupcakes. And no one will want one so I can STILL keep them all.

Happy Tuesday!

VandyJ said...

Italy--what a great place to Honeymoon!

Keely said...

Nice honeymoon! I love the unplanned ones. Vacations, that is. Unplanned other things are not as good.

Can you send a picture of cadaver hands? I need motivation to not snack, too.

I shall now go petition Paris.

Small Town Mommy said...

Wow, 400 hours sounds like a lot. I prefer not to think how much time I have spent blogging over the past 2 years. I might find it depressing. Italy sounds lovely. I would like to go there now. I would guess that cadaver hands would be very effective for limiting eating. I may try that next time I want to snack. I can just imagine if aliens landed on the set of Jersey Shore. You're right. cockroaches would still be the most intelligent life there.

Mama Badger said...

Purple hands? Has anyone suggested he see a doctor? That just sounds gross.

Paris Hilton does need some advice. You could do that for a side job. But I bet you'd be more than willing to take a chip from her.

Mrsbear said...

Does cadaver hands have a health plan? Sounds like a circulation issue. Or onset of zombie-ism.

I like your foundation idea, although I'd leave Paris Hilton's name out of the title.

Otter Thomas said...

That picture of Italy is great. I have been there about 10 times. It is still my favorite place I have ever visited. I love the people and there festive attitude on life.

Cadaver hands is simply one of the best nicknames of all time.

The Bee said...

I say we call Paris the Douche and have her donate her yearly shoe/handbag money to Haiti. Problem solved.

Jeanne said...

Like you, I probably average an hour per post.

But I have 3x that much time into blogging, because I spend far longer READING blogs.

SLColman said...

Your honeymoon sounds like it was amazing!!

Dto3 said...

Cool pic of the Ducal Palace! Loved Venice. Oh, and I constantly get mistaken for the "Situation"'s body-double - thanks for posting that pic and getting the fans rumbling again.

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