Yesterday was my first day back at work after being out sick for more than a week. I must have reeked of germs because no one would come into my office. Instead people stood outside my glass door and mouthed their questions or gestured. I now know exactly what a fish in a fish tank feels like.
Sometimes I pretended I didn’t understand what someone was trying to tell me. It’s amazing how many different ways a patient person will try to mouth and/or gesture “print 50 more brochures?” I learned a lot about the temperaments of my co-workers. Sandy from downstairs? Not so patient. After I made my I-don’t-know-what-you’re-asking-me face for the fifth time, she was on the verge of giving me a different kind of hand gesture.
I’m always disappointed when people named Sandy aren’t super cheery. Sandys and Louies. Actually no, scratch that. I went to school with a kid named Louie. He had cauliflower ear. That’s a good reason to not be cheery.
Last week at this time Junior was puking on me and I was lamenting my transition to 35. I can proudly say that I have never been happier to have aged a week. Our house is vomit-free, and my hot glue gun is working wonders on my wrinkles.
Chuck told me once that the memory of a goldfish lasts two seconds. That made me feel better about goldfish being trapped in bowls until Chuck said, “What if the goldfish’s recurrent thought is, ‘Shit, this sucks’?”
That’s kind of how I felt at work. Without the crusty castle to hide in.
23 comments:
Couldn't Chuck sort of implant a ghost in the goldfish. It would make the goldfish's life much more interesting.
And yours, for that matter!
I'm thinking of "Happy Feet" when the little dancing penguin ends up in the zoo, behind the glass, trying to communicate to the humans with his little dancing feet.
Maybe you should have done a couple of dance routines as a form of communication?
A glue gun on wrinkles...why didn't I think of that?
Doin a happy dance outside your goldfish bowl....
You have a glass office door? Very cool.
That's too funny no one wanted to encroach on your office space on the off-chance you might have some residual germs. I was giggling at Eternal Lizdom's comment about you doing a little dance routine in response... ;)
I'm off to plug in my glue gun and see if it works magic! ;)
They wouldn't come into your office? Damn germaphobes...how rude.
I too will be pulling out the hot glue gun. Great idea.
ha - it makes me happy that you pretended not to understand.
Reminds me of the scene in Austin Powers where Dr. Evil is thanking Frau in his space suit. She keeps giving him the "I can't hear what you are saying" until he figures out he can turn on the intercom and proceeds to yell with it on…
Hoping you are felling better.
Great Randomness,
Look at the positive. Would you really have wanted to be close to all those people? Take advantage of their distance. They will be close again soon enough.
Has it only been a week?
It felt like a lot longer....
I love how you test your co-workers! That is just too funny!
Oh my gosh I was thinking the same thing as Eternal Lizdom about Happy Feet. I just saw it over the weekend (3 times) while I was babysitting my nephew.
I think Suzies just HAVE to be nice too. It's just not right.
That Chuck...smart guy!! I would have never thought that could be a recurring thought...makes you wonder! Glad you're enjoying 35 - so far - and that the house is a puke free zone!!
~WM
Is it really that bad that people stay out of your office? I say you make the occasional retching sound from your desk to keep them all on their toes.
And happiness is a puke free household. Booya!
Nice, they won't come in to your office, and yet they still feel like you should help them? I would have purposely not looked up all day.
Now I feel bad for fish. Damn Chuck.
Very funny! I would like a glass barrier between me and most of the world I think. Especially if I could make them mad by pretending not to understand.
You should get a little diver-guy who bubble fresh oxygen for the corner of your office....
You should aim that glue gun at Sandy.
One puke free day deserves another. Welcome back!
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LOL ... your goldfish comment really cracked me up. Glad you're feeling better ... being sick sucks. I shared My Random Thoughts yesterday morning but didn't have a chance to visit because because I spent the day with my sister, so I'm playing 'catch up' today.
Hugs and blessings,
Crusty castle? You crack me up!
If you built the castle in your office, do you think you could get stress leave?
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