ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Everywhere we go-o people wanna know-o


Where did your husband get those butt ugly shoes?

Yes, those are shoes. They're called Fivefingers and they're part of a new trend called "barefooting." All the cool kids are doing it.

Vibram, one of the companies that makes them (in addition to dog boots and dog toys that look a lot like their shoes), claims "Like the rest of the body, to keep our feet healthy, they need to be stimulated and exercised."

Gah! Some days I don't have time to poo, never mind worry that my damn feet are stimulated.

Chuck loves—loves—his gloved feet. Personally, I think they make him look like a cross between a monkey and robo-man. Every time I see them I start humming Mr. Roboto. And yuck, having each of my toes separated like fingers in a glove would drive me nuts. What if one of your toes is grossly enlarged? What if you step on a sharp rock? Or in a mound of snow?

Or have webbed feet? (Sorry, no shoes for you.)

Having said all that, there is one amazing detail to these shoes that prevents me from "misplacing" them: They are machine washable.

Goodbye, Odor Eaters. Hello, um, apemanthing.



What about you? Do you, like, barefoot?

24 comments:

Sparkling said...

OMG I KNOW THOSE FIVE FINGERS!!! K-ster bought some a couple of years ago and LOVED them. He ran in them. He wore them in the water. He thought they were the cat's ass. Then he had a toe issue. I blame it on the shoe. He says no way. They haven't been worn in a while. He now has to see a 2nd podiatrist because the first one is an idiot. Hmm.

I too cannot imagine having something between every toe like a glove. EW.

marybt said...

Well, I am, admittedly, a hillbilly. And in my neck of the woods when we want to be barefooted (which is pretty much always) then we just go barefooted. It's free and un-ugly. lol.

Pricilla said...

I am sorry but they are the ugliest things I have every seen.

And I have hooves anyway

The Mother said...

I've heard good things about what they do for your feet; not such good things about what they do as a fashion statement.

Saw a few of them on the feet of New Yorkers bustling around Central Park--that makes them hip, right?

Brandy@YDK said...

those shoes officially freak me out.

Kayleen said...

Eeek! I LOVE my fivefingers! They are awesome. My husband was always bitching about me going barefoot "Blah blah blah your stepping on a snake" So I got a pair and now he's like "Seriously, you're wearing those to dinner?"

VandyJ said...

EWWWW! I have had toe socks--the crazy colored socks with individual toes but they make me feel all itchy and stuff. I could not wear those 'shoes'. But I know runners who swear by them. Go figure.

FoN said...

Those are SUPER ugly. The machine washable part is cool, but I couldn't get past the ugly. I draw the line at crocks.

Magpie said...

Ugh, I'm all twitchy thinking about stuff between my toes.

I go barefoot barefoot as often as possible, though.

Mama Badger said...

I saw a guys with those on at the airshow a few weeks ago. Thought he was just one random freak...

I go barefoot all the time, and so do the kids. Probably not the safest thing, but feet wash pretty easily.

Lindy said...

I have a family of runners so I am well aware of these shoes. I can't stand the way they look but they are great for running.

tootertotz said...

I'm surprised you are pregnant. I wouldn't be able to look at my husband let alone sleep with him if those were in his closet or on his feet.

Oh, wait...Sorry, I take it back. I just had a second kid and my husband wears hideous tank tops and shirts with the sleeves cut off to do yardwork. I suppose we all have our blind spots.

As ugly as those fivefingers are, I am strangely curious about how they would feel. Kinda like how I wonder what an erection would feel like but think penises are a rather comical sight.

Nanc Twop said...

I like my Vivo shoes - no need to separate toes.

A Mom on Spin said...

I'm thinking they sure are ugly but I'd like to wear them around the house instead of going barefoot????

Keely said...

I've considered those, actually. But I broke my baby toe as a teenager (sideways - actually ripped it) and now it skeeves me out to even have things touch it, never mind shoes that go between the toes.

Plus, they're fucking ugly.

Alison said...

I know lots of people with them, they use them at a gym we used to attend as it allows you to feel the floor and how your body interacts with it. Also know many runners who use them.

They make pairs that are less ugly..but also expensive.

I never got them cause I couldn't handle the stuff between my toes either!

Frogs in my formula said...

I'm curious to try them too but there's no way I'm sticking my foot into something Chuck's foot has been in.

Maggie said...

I live in New Zealand...everyone goes barefoot at every opportunity. I would love to have some of those things! Although, they are kinda butt ugly!

Jenni said...

Those shoes give me the heebie jeebies.

I never wear shoes unless I' leaving the house. I would never put those nasty ass things on my feet. Keens are machine washable too, you know.

SmartBear said...

Seriously....those make me throw up a little. When Hubby wears something I hate, I hide it somewhere. It makes him nuts.
Hide them skeery lookin' foot gloves! Yikes!
Best,
Tina

Irrational Dad said...

I will never, ever, ever own a pair of those shoes.

Honestly, I can't believe those even exist.

Laufa said...

I was wondering about those things, I saw a guy in my neighborhood wearing them. They are unique! They would drive me crazy, I can't even wear toes socks, forget toe shoes.

SLColman said...

Those shoes are weird! I would think that they would be uncomfortable too??!!

jadenotjaded said...

My 9 year old son happened to walk in as I was reading your post. He asked what those things were (on your hubby's feet), I told him they were shoes. He said, "You mean to walk around in 'public' with?" LOL