ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Please don't spit on my child

If you’re dying to know how Junior is doing at preschool (I know you're on the edge of your seat, folks), you’ll have to ask Chuck. He’s been handling drop-offs. From what he says, they’ve improved from kicking, screaming and leg clinging to mere whimpering. That comforts me, but part of me does wonder if everyone—including Junior’s teacher—is lying to me.

"Suuure, honey, Junior skipped away as he cried. He skipped!"

"Suuure, Mrs. Mullet, Junior had a blast after Chuck left. A blast!"

It’s the abundance of enthusiasm that makes me nervous. Kind of like when you ask the waiter to reheat your spaghetti and he comes back to the table and says, “Here you go, ma’am, the cook was thrilled to reheat it for you. Thrilled!” Meanwhile what the cook really did was floss his ass cheeks with the spaghetti and finish it off with some saliva.

Sometimes it’s better not to know I guess.

According to the preschool teacher, Junior’s little book of pictures has really helped soothe him. It was the ECE director’s suggestion. Basically, I jimmied up a pocket-sized picture book of trains, family photos, and photos of our fat, wretched cats so he could feel close to home whenever he needed to. It saddens me that Junior takes comfort in the sight of those mangeballs—I was hoping to “lose” them in the move—but hey, it’s a victory nonetheless.

The teacher, bless her heart, turned around and made Junior her own picture book. It has photos of the school, classrooms and classmates. He can look at it when he’s home and on the way to school.

So for preschool comfort we’ve got:
1) a stuffed dog
2) a Mom-made picture book
3) a teacher-made picture book
4) a special granola bar for the ride to school (build those rituals)
5) a lollipop for the ride home (ibid)
6) a He-Man action figure (generously donated from Junior’s Uncle Ted, for when Junior needs to feel brave)



and 7) a handle of Jack

That last one’s for me. Even if I can’t drink it, I can lick the glorious little bubbles of whiskey-esque condensation that form under the cap. Shoot it with some Coke, and it’s almost enough to catch a buzz.

Fine, no it’s not. Not even close. Not even if I snort it. But even if I did catch a little buzz, I wouldn’t be alone. According to the New York Post—an incredibly reliable publication—“More pregnant women are raising a glass of wine without guilt.”

So now I'm really curious, did you? Are you? Have you ever? Will you? Do you think it’s wrong?

26 comments:

Small Town Mommy said...

I didn't but I don't drink when I'm not pregnant either so I am not a good benchmark.

The Captain's Wife said...

I drank wine during the last 3 months of my pregnancy. Not in abundance, but a glass or two here and there. (I even indulged in a pint or two...)
I had MAJOR stress at the end of my pregnancy and developed restless leg syndrome. Red wine and a hot bubble bath were my only savours. My Dr. did not condone it, but she also said that she would not chastize (sp?) me for it.

Frogs in my formula said...

Red wine for restless legs, huh. I didn't know that and am so glad I do now!

Erin said...

I think that I like the above commenter who used wine and a bath to take away some stress. I don't have kids, but I most likely will have a glass of wine here and there if I am lucky enough to be "with child" at some point in my life. Because I like wine a little too much!

Pricilla said...

My mother drank while pregnant with me. I have two brain abnormalities. I've had two brain surgeries. One has been corrected. One is progressive and will ultimately end with me not being able to walk.

DON'T DO IT.
Just don't. It's not worth it.

C.B. Jones said...

The thought bubble...That's cold, yet accurate.

I always thought that Prince Adam needed the He-Man alter ego to get the ladies. It's like owning an expensive red car, only none of his weapons had a sun roof or a back seat.

In which case, he probably had no chance at getting with Evil-Lyn.

Cookie Monster in Therapy said...

I didn't, and unlike Small Town Mommy, I do enjoy many a beverage at other times. I'm pretty sure the drinking was what caused my condition in the first place actually, so I was teaching it a lesson by spurning it during pregnancy and the following year of breastfeeding. That's right, I gave the bourbon the silent treatment for roughly 21 months per child just to show it who's boss. Could be why within the first two months of reintroducing myself, I would fall with child again. Hmm, who came out on top of that bout?

Lindy said...

I didn't drink while I was pregnant.

I'm such a crazy worrier that the only medication I took while pregnant was a coughdrop.

tarheelmom said...

Don't do it...even though you're supposed to be able to have a drink once in awhile without guilt. It's not worth the "what ifs" now or later. The report you read unfortunately highlights the women who probably are in the "given 'em an inch...they'll take a mile" category. I didn't drink, smoke, or take any meds (okay, maybe a cough drop) during 4 pregnancies. My one allowance -a half a Dr. Pepper a day...keeps the insanity away.

SLColman said...

I hope that preschool really is better for Junior. I love all the things that you have done to help him adjust :)

kyooty said...

No I didn't drink when pregnant or well knowingly pregnant. I was I think at 10dpo when I had my last Peach wine before I had TJ? but that might have also been the cycle before?

Magpie said...

I love that you used "ibid" in your list.

Jeanne said...

Who the hell remembers?

I did stop smoking dope for the duration....

(Okay, all bs. I was only 19 and too young for anything worth drinking.)

Sylvia said...

I was always afraid that if my little guy had something wrong I would always say "if I hadn't had that glass of wine/beer". I think the chances of hurting the baby are slim, but I know me... my chances of recovering if something was wrong are not great.

SmartBear said...

I love the list! Oh, the things we do to make life a little easier for those tots.
What a can of worms to open! (re: the drinking)
Personally, I think the caffeine and all the chemicals we put in our bodies via deodorant, shampoo, lotion and household cleaners are far more dangerous than having a glass of wine. I drank a couple glasses of wine a week after my 2nd trimester....but I dumped a crapload of money on non-toxic, organic products for my body and home. (I couldn't give up deodorant though....have you tried that natural stuff? I was smelling pretty nasty).
I think everyone should form their own educated opinions about what they think is okay with their doctors.
That being said, I had to have a CT scan during my 3rd trimester....so if he turns out screwed up, I can always blame that.
Best,
Tina

Choleesa said...

I used to run out the door and run after my moms car, then she started buying me grape rope gum. And I stopped chasing her.

Keely said...

I think I had maybe half a glass of wine in my last trimester. I didn't seem to want it. I did, however, eat sushi and soft cheeses, which are apparently now on the verboten list. A girl's gotta have SOMETHING.

Becki said...

I don't think it's a huge deal.
For me personally, I wouldn't risk it.

Lidian said...

I didn't, but I sure like it now that I have 2 teenagers ;)

Your list of stuff for Junior reminded me of all the trips to the corner store for penny candy (yeah, we still have that here) I bribed people with when the girls were kindergarten age. I had to convince my younger child that her older sister could NOT just magically appear, we had to go get her. Fun times!

The Mother said...

The party line of course is that alcohol and pregnancy don't mix.

Here's the problem: how much alcohol affects the fetus is related to genetic factors; some groups (Native Americans and Scandinavians) do not metabolize EtOH as well, largely because of poor alcohol dehydrogenase induction (same populations tend toward alcoholism). Lots of technical terms, but it means, basically, that no doc can tell YOU whether it's safe or not.

Most studies in American women show that an occasional glass of wine has no huge effect, especially after the 2nd trimester. BUT--

if you have any native American blood or are of Scandinavian descent, you're playing with fire.

[I did treat myself, on rare occasions, to small glasses, in the last trimester. Kids turned out okay. Really. I think. I'll let you know when the last one turns 30.]

Sandra said...

I did not drink when pregnant, however, I'm not dead set against it. My French friend indulged in a beer or a glass of wine every day of her pregnancy after the first trimester...you can barely tell that her son's eyes are crossed (kidding!)
You son certainly has a terrific support system, right down to the bulgeless action figure! I think you will all be fine!
Loved this post!

Frogs in my formula said...

Thanks for all your comments. It's interesting to get different perspectives, particularly on He-Man's crotch.

Pricilla, I'm sorry to hear about your health issues. I had no idea.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Well, I'd say, one glass of wine or beer occasionally isn't a huge deal. I would probaly steer clear of the hard stuff, though. I drank occasionally (that means, like, a beer or two a month) while pregnant.

I think, if you and your family fall within normal health protocol, you should be fine. People who suffer great damage from otherwise safe behavior suffer from a predisposition to that type of damage.

I guess you just have to do what you feel comfortable with. Don't let anyone judge you! It's your decision! Go Frogmama!!

Nanc Twop said...

Alcohol must not be the worst factor,
since non-drinking countries lead the world
in birth defects. Meanwhile, France is lowest.

(via 'March of Dimes')
birth defects per 1,000 births

===The highest

Sudan 82
Saudi Arabia 81.3
Benin 77.9
Burkina Faso 77
Palestinan area 76.6

===The lowest

France 39.7
Austria 41.6
Australia 41.7
Switzerland 42.5
United States 47.8

marybt said...

I had a beer now and then.

I also had *gasp* DIET COKE once in awhile.

My kid turned out just fine.

I've always wondered about that ... supposedly, it's so awful for a mother to have a beer or glass of wine while pregnant but the minute the baby comes out, they want to shoot her up with a hepatitis b virus. What the heck? What's the difference between a baby who has been in utero for 9 months and one born yesterday?

I also drank while I nursed. I had no pregnancy cravings, but after she was born the only thing I wanted was (in no particular order): Jason's Deli muffaletta, ham, Grape Smirnoff Ice.

That's not to say I did tequila shots and danced on the tables, but a little nip now and then won't hurt.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. I don't even watch doctor shows on TV.

marybt said...

This reminded me of something though. Have you gotten all kinds of weird advice about what not to do?

I had a hair dresser who wouldn't color my hair without a note from my doctor. When I asked him, he said, "You aren't going to be snorting the hair color are you?!" lol.

The same woman said I shouldn't put my arms over my head. No idea why.

Also not to get my ears pierced because the baby would come out with holes in her ears. I wasn't gonna risk that - so I didn't get my ears pierced. Pfft.