ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Last night I met my lover

I’m not at that big conference this weekend. You know, the one everyone and their mother is talking about. The one that rhymes with Snogfur.

Jealous? Who, me?

I did some lite reading of posts of people who are there—I’m masochistic like that—and there seemed to be a reoccurring theme. Something along the lines of The-kids-are-home-alone-with-Dad-I’m-kind-of-freaking-out-OMG-I’m-on-my-own-in-NYC-yip-fucking-yeeeeeeee.

Something like that.

And it’s funny because there was a nagging question intermingled with my jealousy which was, When was the last time you were away all by yourself, Mrs. Mullet?

Funny because I’m sitting here right now all by myself in my house. Chuck spent last night at his mom’s with Junior so they could get some QT with Grandma (and her pool). I was supposed to head down after work.

I never made it.

See, as my work day yesterday was winding down, I started picturing my empty house. The more I thought about it, the more enticing it became. By the time five o’clock rolled around, I was worried I was going to start humping the copy machine I was so excited by the prospect of having an empty house all to myself.

Me. All by myself. I could do whatever I wanted. I could do nothing or everything. I had to seize the opportunity.

Walking in my front door was like meeting a lover.

“Are we really alone?” Giggle, giggle. "Really?"

The house was deliciously silent. I yanked off my stiff work clothes and put on a pair of Chuck’s underwear. I pulled down the shades. I drank a non-alcoholic beer and watched smutty TV.

Then, as I was sitting there amidst all the debauchery, something wonderful happened. I happened to look down at my large baby bump and I said, “Hello.” I realized it’s the first time I’ve really spoken to my bump. I’m five months pregnant now and I hadn’t slowed once to actually acknowledge the child that’s growing inside of me. I hadn't once said, "Hey, I'm happy you're here. You're a gift."

Of course, that made me cry because I suddenly understood the beautiful importance of having time to yourself, not to paint your stupid nails or drink Smoothies or read frilly magazines, but to climb down off the ride and take a minute to assess and appreciate your life.

So, wow. A whole rainbow of epiphanies on my couch, and no one was there to witness it.

Thankfully.

Anyway, Chuck and Junior are on their way home now. There are a million things I still want to do, which means I’ll probably do nothing at all. Well, there are those two non-alcoholic beers in the fridge…

P.S. Chuck’s really excited about having another boy (yes, the Go-Go doctor was right after all). I am too.

22 comments:

rachel... said...

Hooray for boys! Congrats!

The Mother said...

Oh, yes.

When my kids were small, hubby would ask what I wanted for mother's day, and my response was always:

A whole day. All to myself. No kids, no laundry, no cooking.

Probably not the response he was hoping for, huh?

Small Town Mommy said...

When I am home alone, I sit around and eat chocolate. I am glad you had a chance to bond with baby 2. That is always harder than baby 1.

♥Georgie♥ said...

if it makes you feel any better I am not at that big conference either! Congrats on the news of another boy

Pricilla said...

I'm glad you enjoyed your time alone. It's necessary and you probably won't see much of it going forward.

Hard to believe you are 5 months along already....wow. Can't wait for a new little tadpole.

Karin Katherine said...

Of course ANY child is a blessing but you are going to LOVE seeing the bond between your two boys. So Hooray for a boy!

I'm also glad I'm not the only one that loves a quiet house. I love my quiet spaces. I think its important to have time to reflect and be grateful for what you have. Too often we are so busy with life we forget to enjoy it.

I'm a new follower and so glad to be one! Love your writing.

Mommy Cracked said...

Yeah...I am totally NOT jealous of the women at THAT conference. AT ALL. (I lie.)

Congrats on the new little guy! And you are right...it's so important to step off the wild ride of life sometimes and just reflect.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

So, I have to ask, did you sleep naked with your lover? :-)

A Mom on Spin said...

congrats on a beautiful post!

Cookie Monster in Therapy said...

That is my Mother's Day present too! My 'Fo gets me the morning paper, whips out to the shops to buy my brekkie ('cos I like a really NICE coffee) and then gathers all the kiddies and away they go. From 7 in the morning and come back home around 8 at night, ready to go to bed. I love him more every year this happens. Where they go, I don't know and don't really care. I am home alone!!! And yes, yay for boys! Congrats.

Lidian said...

Hey, congrats! (As usual I am WAY behind on things) We (who are both onlies) have 2 girls, so - yeah, I will skip all the Misty Memories and Great Advice. It was a close thing, though ;)

Alone time is very excellent. Yessir. I always feel that I haven't used it Just Right, though. I didn't meditate or write a novel or find all my chakras. I still don't know where the heck they are.

Jeanne said...

Congratulations on your new son, and on getting time to appreciate him!

SLColman said...

Glad to hear that you enjoyed your time alone!!

sarahthings said...

I have been out of work (where I catch up on blogs at lunchtime) on maternity leave since April, and just returned to the blog world - Congratulations on your pregnancy! And congrats on another boy!

Mama Badger said...

I know that moment! When you finally sit far enough from the older one to realize there's another on the way? Good for you and the new little guy, for finally getting some time together.

And two boys? More fun that people want to think about. You'll lose the pink room, but now junior has a partner in crime! To the Batcave!

Jenni said...

You will love having two boys.

Glad you got some time to yourself.

Sara said...

Yay for baby boy!

Catootes said...

Lovely post.

Baby 2 doesn't get that all encompassing focus it seems. We are all to busy chasing after Baby 1 and trying to keep our shit together.

Tell Chuck you and Baby 2 need to bond more often. Because you are about to be outnumbered.

Keely said...

Why is that gift to ourselves always the hardest to give??

Yay for boys!

Irrational Dad said...

Yay for boys! I'm secretly hoping that we're having another boy and will hopefully find out in another month.

Mammatalk said...

A boy?! Congratulations!!

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

That alone time can be the best ever...seriously. And I'm not at hogfer either. Is that what it's called? Um...whatever.