Every morning I slather this on my pregnant mound:
And every morning I feel like I've taken a big whiff of these:
Cocoa butter formula my ass. They're using old toes and slippers, I tell ya! Surgical stockings and BENGAY! Bunions and oatmeal!
Tell everyone you know! Tell your neighbors and your postman!
About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.