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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Friday, November 6, 2009

I don't just blog about fleas and rotten meat. Hello. Take II

My friend called me yesterday. She’s the one who gave me the cookbook, so I thought she was calling about my meat explosion.

I was right.

After the mockery she said, “I like your blog, but you don’t really talk about being a mom that much.” I must have sounded hurt because she immediately backpedaled. “What I mean is, I wouldn’t really call it a mom blog. You write about work a lot. And Chuck. And Mulletville. And fleas. And other stuff, too.”

The conversation ended there because Junior wanted to get out of the tub and I didn’t want to wrestle a slippery toddler with a phone crooked in my neck, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what she said.

Avoiding the obvious—which is that the life of a mom need not be relegated to parenting issues alone—part of me wondered if I’d have more to say about being a mother if I didn’t work full-time. That made me a little sad. I’m home by 4:30, so I have a nice chunk of time with Junior at night, but my posts aren’t full of anecdotes about my kid because, well, I’m not with my kid all the time.

But even if I were, Junior isn’t entertaining 24-7. Sure, he held up plastic hangers to his ears last night and shouted, “I’m a moose!” but you’re not Junior’s grandmother; you probably don’t want to hear about every cute thing he does.

Another part of me tried to remember if my intention from the get-go was to be a mom blogger. I think it was. I think when I first started this blog I fancied myself a valuable resource for fellow moms. Clearly, I was drunk when I envisioned that.

The more I thought about the whole “You’re not really a mom blogger” comment, the more I realized I’ve kind of been avoiding the mom issue, and that my meatloaf is a fitting picture for why. It illustrates what my brain sees lately in the blogosphere: momsplosion.

Lately, there are so many women blogging about what it means to be a mom that my brain cells can’t synthesize it all. There are blogs of helicopter moms, supermoms, entrepreneurial moms, kayaking moms, product-reviewer moms, WOHMs, SAHMs, WOOHs, juggling moms, green moms, hybrid moms, stepmoms, same-sex moms and moms with two vaginas.

Then there are moms blogging about the helicopter moms, supermoms, entrepreneurial moms, kayaking moms, product-reviewer moms, WOHMs, SAHMs, WAHMs, juggling moms, green moms, hybrid moms, stepmoms, same-sex moms and moms with two vaginas.

And we haven’t even gotten to the dad blogs! (Had I known Chuck was so en vogue as a stay-at-home dad, I would have gotten his Viking-Ghostbusting-Stay-at-Home-Dad in the Buff calendar ready a whole year earlier.)

My point is that there are parents everywhere, and they are blogging about everything. A few years ago, blog tracker Technorati estimated there were about 8,500 blogs where parents were writing about their kids. That’s before the mom/dadsplosion. Right now, there are probably 657,836,098,747,647 blogs where parents are writing about their kids.

I've connected with some of them—like .0092%—and I love it. I really do. But some days, the sheer volume of words makes me feel like reaching for the Massengill. Do we honestly have that much to say about parenting? Do you ever feel that we’re saturating the blogosphere with our parental introspection? Do you think by now we might have covered everything?

I do. Some days I envision the parental blogosphere as the Great Oz. And I picture a mom—or dad—hitting “publish” on her—or his—blog post and the Great Oz receiving this notification:



Yah, the Great Oz uses a Mac. Of course he does.

28 comments:

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

the reason I love your posts (besides your being so incredibly funny) is that you totally strike so many chords with me! You don't have to relegate yourself in a single category! Why would you want to anyway?!?! I love you that blog about all sorts of topics besides your cute stories about your son! A moose?! Now that is cute, and I'm not his grandmother!!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

okay, I meant to say that I love that you blog about all sorts of topics in that third last sentence..:P

kyooty said...

TOTALLY! I like your writing, I like yoru style and it doesn't have to be all "mom" all the time because well I DO that here all the time and well uh there is another side to being a mom.

Suzi said...

As much as I love my kids I don't always want to be talking, eating, breathing, sleeping, etc. them. It' nice to hear about other aspects of life as we know it.

ShellyInOz said...

Came over from Mommy Blogs, although talking about motherhood is something we all do, it is part of who we are--right now. But we were our own people before these little people came along, and I like that you have not forgotten that.

Will be following your blog to hear more.

Pricilla said...

Just think about how one feels if one is not a mom.....

Keely said...

You are not your blog. And sometimes blogging is just blogging. And also I've had rather a lot of a very nice Chilean red, so I don't really know what I meant, and I don't mean to rub it in about the wine because if you wanted to, you could have some too, and pain meds be damned.

(Though I'm totally not liable for that advice when you crash some heavy machinery, because, like I said, I've been drinking.)

Joan M. Cannon said...

And remember, every time that You make one of us sleep-deprived, cortisol-filled, imperfect-but-still-trying Mommy-Do's laugh out loud, an angel gets it's wings! mwah.

Kate said...

I had no idea that people cared anything about labels like that. Shows just how clueless I am. I love your stories about Junior. I love your stories about Chuck. I love your stories about work. I love your stories.... I don't give a flying flip what they are about! You are comically gifted, as well as a great writer. I just enjoy you for you. Keep up the great work!

rachel... said...

I wouldn't call yours a "mommy blog", either, but it's one of my favorites. I like reading blogs that I can identify with, whether it's about parenting or relationships or whatever. Yours sometimes makes me wish I worked in an office.

Lisa said...

Waaaiit a second...you deleted Take I altogether? Are we still in Kansas?

Don't mess with me like that, geezus.

A Mom on Spin said...

Turns out you're not a "mom" blogger at all.

You're a humor blogger. . . much better!!!

Mrsbear said...

Don't sweat it. You're absolutely right, there's only so much a person can say about mom moments without being redundant. I blog because sometimes I just need to write, and the topic is either the kids or my insane mom neurosis because I'm home with them. all. the. time. I got nothing else going on. Sometimes I wish I had some disturbing coworkers to throw in to the fray. And your blog is all humor all the time. Being a mom is just one component.

heedpantsnow said...

Hmmmmm....and silly me, I figured that since you also blogged about crazy people at work, fleas, rotten meat and jealousy of your stay-home husband that it further solidified your status as a kick-ass, rockin', and terribly funny mommy blogger. Clearly, I am operating on a different criteria than your cookbook friend....and no crticism to her, she can whip me up a meatloaf any day!

In any case, you keep me laughing and laughing and laughing. In fact, I still can't get past the cake at the cabin incident.

Frogs in my formula said...

Aw, you guys! You got me all Verklempt. Thank you!

Venom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Venom said...

I read your blog because it's entertaining, just the way it is.

You're a mom, yeah good for you, so am I. But being a mom isn't all you are, or all I am, and you're right that only Gramma thinks every f*ing thing our kids do is adorable.

Keep on writing whatever you feel like writing Froggy, with 168 readers I think you're doing just fine without trying to squeeze in mom-content into every post.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I don't like labels. I sure love your blog no matter what you write. It's nice coming over here and never knowing what you have up your sleeve. Fleas or not. ;)

WhisperingWriter said...

I love my kids but I certainly couldn't blog about them all the time either.

Anne said...

I agree with Stacey, I don't like labels. I thought of myself as a mommy blogger until I looked at what I wrote and there is not that much about my kids. I panicked because how could I be a mommy blogger if I don't write about the kids. I write to try to make myself laugh and hopefully can take someone else on the journey with me.

Julia said...

I am immediately thinking of definitions. BLOG = weB LOG.

mommy blogger? *shrug*

Write whatever the heck you feel like. In the end it is for you and your family. Your grand kids will have some idea of what you were like as a person some day... not just as a mom.

Lindy said...

You know what pisses me off about your blog? You keep using words I don't know the meaning of except now you are doing it in your comment responses too.

And also, you are definately not a cooking blog.

Mad Woman said...

And that is exactly why I never know what box to check on this blog list thingies. Yeah I talk about my kids, but they don't define me any more than my blog does. It's an exhausting thought process to go through isn't it?

Sara said...

Hmm, All I know is that I love your blog. You are fun, funny and tell a great story. I'm a working mom, too and like you I have some ancedotes about my kids. Nothing like I would have if I was with them 24-7. Frankly though, my blog is my reclaiming of pieces of me that gets lost in the day to day living life.

Joanie M said...

I like your blog because you DO write about work and Junior and your hubby and fleas and Mulletville (which I think is hysterical!)and other stuff. It's just downright funny!

MamaTech said...

I personally think that your blog reminds us all that being a mommy is about MORE than the kids - it IS about work, and fleas, and cooking mishaps, and LIFE. My life is about more than kids (and at this point, grandkids). When did being a mom preclude having a life?

Mary said...

While being a mother is the most important job I have, it does not define me. There is so much more to me than Shelby's Mom.

That's why my blog rarely deals with Mommy issues. Well, that and it's really no one's business what my kid does on the pot or if she even sits on the pot. I wouldn't want someone blogging about it every time I sat on the pot! lol.

You are more than Junior's Mom and your writing reflects that. Too many moms get lost in their children and end up dazed and confused when (and if) said children fly the coop. I'm not saying your children should be the most important thing in your life, just that they shouldn't be the ONLY thing in your life. It isn't healthy.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

This post is so funny and so true.

When I started my blog I hadn't been reading blogs (just one - a close friends' blog) and I didn't know what a momblogger was. Basically I just was tired of talking to my husband and having him give me an opposing opinion. I wanted to TALK and NOT GET INTERRUPTED. I figured, if I blogged, certainly there would be SOMEONE who said, "YEah! I totally agree!"

So, while I am a mom and do blog about mom stuff sometimes, I usually just blog about whatever is on my mind. It might be serious or it might be really superficial. Whatever.

But, I have to say, I HATE those blogs that are entirely devoted to talking about their children. And really, does anyone think their kids are going to grow up and read their blogs in 10 or 15 years? I mean, really, is there ANYONE out there right now who's still doing something they did 10 or 15 years ago? But, that's just my opinion.