I want to thank everyone who left me a comment on my flea post. I seriously expected comments like “You’re disgusting!” or “I’m never coming back to this blog, Cootie Girl!” but instead you shared your own horror stories. I don’t know why the Today show hasn’t picked up on the real household scourges. According to you guys, cricket, tick, flea, silver fish and earwig infestations are, like, rampant.
I still haven’t seen any fleas, so I’m hoping we caught it early enough to avoid a full-blown catastrophe. I also hope that it wasn’t stupid to have company over yesterday. I’d disclosed the situation to everyone, but still, I’m trying really hard not to make follow up calls today along the lines of “Hey, great to see you yesterday. Itchy anywhere?”
Two of the guests were my brother Ted, and his fiancée, Holly. If you’re new here, Holly’s the former nanny who set my oven on fire and whose parents invited us to a foodgasm.
I like Holly, I really do.
But. She and Ted are planning their wedding. Yesterday while we were talking, I asked her if she'd picked her bridesmaids and she said, "Yep—you're one of them. And Junior is a ring bearer."
Come again? Is it just me or does it take serious nut for a 21-year-old to tell a 35-year-old woman that she’s in her wedding? How about, "Hey, would you and your child like to be in my wedding?" Am I overreacting?
Chuck says yes. He keeps telling me to relax. Oh, I hate that. I think that every time a man tells a woman to relax, his testicles should be zapped with a taser. How can I relax when every black speck in my house makes me think we are seconds away from flea armageddon? Or when all I envision at my brother's wedding is me and a bridal party of 21-year-olds decked out in hot pink bikini dresses and sparkles? I’ll show you relax, you %^^#^&ing %#%#^&%#^&er.
Oh, dang. I’d hate to see this post end on a sour note. I started off all warm and smoochy with gratitude and look, I’m back to being crotchety. Would it make it all better if I said I had a Diamond Edition Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Blu-ray Combo Pack DVD* to give away?
This movie is always a thrill to watch. The story-line contains twists and turns and keeps you on the edge of your seat. The movie is humorous, dramatic and engaging.
It’s completely remastered and digitally restored, plus lots of extras. All you have to do is leave me a comment and a way to contact you if you win. If you're not into chicks who cater to the needs of dwarfs, feel free to leave me a comment telling me I'm not overreacting.
This is open to U.S. residents only, since I have to pay postage. Leave your comment by Wednesday, October 21, 9 p.m., EST.
*Holy mouthful! This giveaway was made possible by the One2One Network.