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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

As soon as "The Hills" is over, I'll swing from the ceiling. Promise

My mother just left. She offered to watch today Junior so:

1. I can rest my sprained ankle

2. Chuck can spend the day job-hunting

3. Chuck and I can hang out

WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK. WINK.

(Her winks, not mine. How can I possibly “hang out” with my husband wearing an air-cast? I guess if I hang from the ceiling with my good leg and swing to the side and Chuck stands on a chair and faces northbound with his left arm at a 30-degree angle and…oh, forget it.)

Because I am such a devoted mother, I hopped out to my mother’s car to say good-bye to my darling son. I admit it, I was bummed that I have a whole day off from work and that I can’t spend it with Junior. Yesterday, he actually kissed my boo boo. He only stepped on my gimpy foot on purpose four times before having to go into time-out. And oh, how I will miss him grabbing my crutches and yelling, “Can I try? Can I TRY? Please can I TRYYYYYYYY?” and then the ensuing meltdown.

Heart flutter.

Yes, parting ways was going to be heart-wrenching.

My mother strapped Junior into the car seat and I leaned in.

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” I cooed. I kissed his tender little cheek and caressed his soft, silken waves. “I’ll miss you! You’re my love bug! I’ll see you tonight, Sweetie. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love—”

“Close the door, Mommy?”

“What, honey?”

“Close the door? I’m going bye-bye.”

My mother snorted. And not a delicate, dainty snort, but one that probably hurt up to her sinuses.

“You can both bite me,” I said.

Parenting reality check #458,987,567,984: When given the option of being spoiled and pampered and indulged by Granny vs. watching Mommy hobble around the house and moan, "I can't stand this!" for the day, your toddler will choose Granny.

Duh.

Now if you'll excuse me, Bravo is calling. (Tom Colicchio, you are so snarky!)

26 comments:

bernthis said...

Whenever my kid leaves me, she's always telling me, "Go, mommy." Clearly, a huge case of separation anxiety....for me.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Yeah, I can relate. They always like grandma better. Whatever.
YOU get better!

Buggys said...

A heartwrenching bit of reality....kids!

Pricilla said...

Enjoy your day of wild food, snarky Tom and rest.

Think up all the things you can say to the tree bitch that knocked you down.

Or all they ways you could cook her...

Aunt Becky said...

Ah, Das Boot. I wore one for most of my pregnancy with Amelia. It was AWESOME. And by awesome, I mean it sucked and people were mean to me.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

The things I miss out when I'm behind... :) Hopefully you were able to spend the day not hobbling around and got some rest... ;)

Oh, and Princess Nagger is giggling at the title of your blog post. ;)

Chef Eureka said...

LOL... my kids would so just yank the crutches out from under me and start hobbling on them as I fall over! :) Too cute. Enjoy the day swinging from the rafters! :D

Harlem's A Hatin said...

I love your blog, super cute!

Check out my blog
http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.com

Jeanne said...

We grandma's put a lot of effort into that! Last time I had Phinn overnight, I was thrilled when he didn't want to go home the next day. Yay, grannies!

Stacie said...

Why is it so hard for us mothers to let our kids go even when we really, really need a break or to get stuff done?

I hope your ankle feels better soon!

kyooty said...

I'm sorry Junior is growing up :)

Dto3 said...

Granny can be drenched in diarrhea, running fever and slinging snot with every breath, and even if you were perfectly mobile and had just dressed up for a day of fun with Junior, he'd still pick Granny. Sorry FIMF, I'm a realist. (from Parenting 101, p. 2)

Keely said...

Yeah, my kid would pretty much prefer anybody over me. I think the preference goes 1)Grandma, 2)Other Grandma, 3)Dad, 4)New Daycare Lady, 5)The Dog, 6)The Neighbour Who Also Has A Dog, 7)Mom.

Now go "hang out". WINK.

JW.BW said...

LOL!!! Too funny. Seems like Junior was ready to hit the road.

Farmgirl Paints said...

Cute blog. Love your humor. Stoppin' by from SITS. Have a great day...wink, wink!

Trac~ said...

LOL - Grandmas are ALWAYS better than the parents - and as they grow older - it doesn't get any better - sad to say. :o((( We've had to enforce an every other family weekend just to get time with our two 15 year olds - otherwise, we'd never see them - as we are all on different schedules. Hope you feel well enough to be swinging from the ceiling soon! HA! Big hugs! Trac~ :o)

Lindy said...

Is that even a real number you posted? It looked kind of long.

And the way your blog has been reading lately, I thought for sure your Mom was going to run over your foot.

...not that it was a letdown or anything when she didn't. :)

S.E. Sward said...

Yeah, that's one of the most painful lessons of mothering - there's absolutely no loyalty to mom when grandma shows up. Kids instinctively know that grandma is the way to go for major spoiling, undivided attention and an unlimited buffet of sugar.

Enjoyed the laugh this morning! Stopping by from SITS.

blognut said...

Love hurts.

Also? You can totally "hang out" with your husband while wearing a cast. Where there's a will, there's a way. Seriously.

Traction couldn't keep me from it if my kids were out for the day!

Sara said...

LOL They do love Grandma's more. My kids spend three days a week with my MIL and it is partly disheartening and partly heartening that they hate to leave every time.

Otter Thomas said...

Enjoy your day off, rest your foot, and indulge in all sorts of TV. Be careful hanging from the ceiling.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

yeah, my son leaps into his daycare provider's arms...better to color and mess with other kids than spend the whole day with mommy going "noooooooo" all day long!

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO...my how i have missed reading your posts! of course i am not laughing at you missing your son...just how you wrote it...oh hell nevermind...hope you know what i mean...i am always saying things that get 'lost in translation'

Mad Woman said...

Did you hit your mom with the crutches for her snorting and winking? I would have.

Ahhh down time, no kidlets..fun!

Julia said...

Oh I am sad for you. You deserve a little more anguish from the kid. Really. He owes it to you I think!

Susan said...

Why not ask Redwood to take Junior for the day? Did she ever even apologize for not even stopping?