Monday, September 8, 2008

I don't know whose dog this is, but he just asked, "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"


I love stupid questions.

Just last week, when our friends were over, we were discussing my wild and crazy days as an undergrad in Amherst, Mass. (I did go a little nuts…which is why I transferred schools in the middle of the semester, right after my dorm room caught on fire—it wasn’t my fault, I swear.)

My friend asked, “What college did you go to in Amherst?”

I said, “UMass.”

So, we’re all on the same page here, right? Amherst. UMass.

UMass. Amherst.

But then my friend asked, “Which campus did you go to?”

I waited a minute. “Uuuummmmm, Boston?” Then I gave him a big slap for being so stupid.

But hey, we’ve all asked stupid questions. And because I am so secure in my noggin’s capabilities, I’ll share a few of my own.

In high school, I once asked my French teacher, “Do dogs bark differently in France?”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized how idiotic my question was. I mean, how did I think they barked? Le arf, le arf, le arf?

Pretty recently I asked my dad, “Do trains have steering wheels?”

No. It turns out that trains do not have steering wheels. They are not like the rides at Disneyland—you know, the ones where the vehicle follows a track but you can still steer a little? Nope, not at all.

Another time, I asked my dad (yes, recently), “Why is Chicago called the windy city?”

In all fairness to me, it’s not solely because the city is so damned windy. It’s because the politicians were full of hot air and it says so right here. So, hah!

I'm curious—really!—what’s the stupidest question you’ve ever asked?

(P.S. You can't leave me hanging here! I'm a harried mom with thin skin...I cry easily! I will drown my sorrows in cheap gin and Pinwheels.)

15 comments:

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

If it's any consolation, my high school spanish teacher told us that animals in spanish-speaking countries make different sounds than American animals. And I believed him.

harrietv said...

The animals make the same sounds all over; the people hear it differently. (In China, so I've heard, dogs bark wang wang.)

I get stupid questions all the time. Here's the most recent:

My husband's radio had been blaring the whole day -- as usual -- with news of TS Hanna and what to do, etc. Then my husband asked if my son was coming. "Not in a hurricane," I said, "don't be selfish."

The question -- are you ready? -- "Oh, is it coming this way?"

Jennifer said...

I can't remember. I ask stupid questions all the time! I know I'm the most annoying when I try to watch football with hubby. I'm so bored with the game that I start asking questions. His favorite - Where do they get the ball from?

Dto3 said...

My daughter called her cousin tonight and asked him, "Is your snake growing?"

I seriously hope he really has a snake, because I don't want to know what else she could be talking about.

If you are interested in my adventures with the French language, check out my blog entry with a similar name as yours at: http://footballballetandbeer.blogspot.com/2008/03/voulez-vous-couchez-avec-moi-ce-soir.html

Marinka said...

Animal sounds are different in every language--like Harriet above said, or wrote, it's how people hear it.

I can't think of any stupid questions I've asked, so I'm just going to assume that they are all gems.

Jenn P. said...

I know that I have asked many stupid questions. I can't think of one to share right now, but I promise you, I am good at asking dumb questions.

Marinka said...

Ok, I got one! This morning I was making sandwiches for lunch and I sniffed the ham and asked, "ham doesn't go bad, does it?"

No, of course not! Why would swine spoil?

Frogs in my formula said...

I feel much better, though I still ate a lot of Pinwheels. And C-3po, that is shameless self promotion but I read your blog post. Le Hooters?

Mekhismom said...

I am going to have to think on this question. I don't like asking questions. Um I asked someone about the Star Wars movie and why something was happening. It seemed reasonable to me but apparently it was one of those things were you were supposed to just go with the flow.

Frogs in my formula said...

I think I need to go to China just to hear "wang wang." That is priceless.

Practically Joe said...

Is this where I should tell you my stupid question?

Lisa N. said...

I once asked my mom, "Hey Ma, when your teeth fall out, do your gums fall out too?"

And now I have to relive that moment whenever I see her. Sigh.

Delia said...

Here's a stupid question I'll never live down: "Are you coming over on Saturday for Superbowl Sunday?"

I'm going to be walking around for days saying "Le arf", now.

Sandy said...

Well, I was at my ex-boyfriend's parents' house (not an ex at the time) and I was scrubbing the crust off some mussels in the kitchen sink. Both his parents were hanging with us as well.

Having grown up in the Midwest, we didn't have a lot of seafood, and I innocently asked, "So then, what's a Bearded Clam?"

Mama Kalila said...

I do that a lot, but can't really think of one right now other than getting grief for asking what time is Midnight Mass every year... but as dumb as that sounds, you really do have to ask! Very rarely is it really at midnight... (well here it is, but back home no)

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