ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Top 10 signs you should switch pediatricians

1. When feeling the lump on your kid's head that was caused by a fall off the bed, the pediatrician says, "NBD" then scoffs when you ask him to explain what the hell NBD means ("No big deal").

2. You learn more about your child's health after one visit with the on-call pediatrician across the street than you did in the eight months with your pediatrician.

3. You find yourself daydreaming about the on-call pediatrician across the street a lot—like every time you make an appointment with your own pediatrician.

4. Your pediatrician admits that he kept you waiting for 20 minutes because he was in his office watching the Tour de France.

5. Your pediatrician also admits that the only reason he stopped watching the Tour de France was because one of his staff made him feel guilty about keeping you waiting.

6. During office visits, one of your pediatrician's testicles bulges to the side because his tapered jeans are too tight.

7. One of the first things your pediatrician asks you during an appointment is whether or not you noticed his new BMW in the parking lot.

8. You find yourself trying to focus on the good times with your pediatrician instead of the shit that's pissed you off: "Well, he did laugh when I threw my underwear at him..."

9. After ranting endlessly to your husband about your pediatrician, he shrugs his shoulders and says, "Do what you have to do," which in manspeak is code for "You're right but I don't want to be the one to call the office and explain why we're leaving."

10. You write a post entitled "Top 10 signs you should switch pediatricians."

22 comments:

Sparkling said...

Yep, get out. Did you notice my BMW? What an ass.

Working Mommy said...

um...yeah...you definitely need a new one!

wm

Lady Goo Goo Gaga said...

If this is true it is def time to switch.....I hate drs.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

He sounds like a jackass.
I don't know about 'round your parts, but 'round these parts, you just sign up with the new ped, and they request your kids' records from the old ped, so you don't have to talk to the old ped or make explanations or any of that messy business. I recently switched my kids' ped and I love the new one so much, it takes all I have not to hug her and squeeze her!

Pricilla said...

Uhm, if he cared more about watching the Tour de France than waiting on you do you think he would really notice if you never came back?

no offense

dsvsdgasdvgasdfd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dsvsdgasdvgasdfd said...

Nobody knows why a nerd captured the confusing arm.



911asian

SmartBear said...

Holy crap! What a douche! Just leave a note on the window of his new Beamer...
Best,
Tina

Magpie said...

#6? Ew.

Get a new doctor, STAT.

tootertotz said...

Normally, you shouldn't need to explain why you are leaving but I think I would feel fine explaining this to him or any of his staff.

Simply say...my money helped buy that new BMW parked out there and he can't turn of the Tour de France to see me in a reasonable time. I'd rather buy nice cars for someone who attempts to keep to a schedule.

Then mention his lopsided balls.

The staff will look at you with longing as your stroll out bc you can be sure they can't stand the idiot either.

WicketsMom said...

Run away as fast as you can! There is no way I would trust someone like that with the care of my child.

Mrsbear said...

Please. Don't look back. Do you even have to notify them? Just make an appt with someone else, they can request your old pedi's records by fax usually. Avoid the awkwardness maybe?

Tapered jeans. Ack.

Mama Badger said...

Why do you have to call to tell him your leaving? Simply start using the new guy and have them call to ask for a records transfer if they need one.

Brittney said...

wow most definitely change docs!!! I may have threw more than underwear at him if he told me he kept me waiting because he was watching something.. asshat!

Frogs in my formula said...

Ohmigawd I am DYING to know why a nerd captured the confusing arm. Someone please tell me!

Luanne said...

Number 6 is my favorite! That is a pet peeve of mine too!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Meh, you don't have to even give them a reason or information. Just say you need the records and go find out about that on-call pediatrician.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

oh my gosh that is too hilarious.

But in Mulletville (or ML) beggars can't be choosers ya know.

In our previous small town, we got to choose from two pediatricians: one who was a slavic immigrant and I could barely understand what she told me to do with the baby, or a newbie doc who was taking over the practice from his father and did the awful waiting thing. Only, his waiting thing was in the exam room which is worse. It's like, they tease you with a quick exit from the waiting room, only to get you trapped in the tiny room with no toys, waiting for 45 minutes. bastards.

I chose the slavic lady.

Whiney Momma said...

Love it! Sounds like a real a-hole... how do these people end up taking care of kids?

VandyJ said...

Yeah, change doctors--writing a list is reason enough--I mean you had enough reasons for a list!

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Logan Rojas said...

When you think that your pediatrician is not delivering the kind of service and care expected in their profession, don’t take any chances because it’s your child’s health that is at risk. There are a lot of pediatricians available out there, and it’s not impossible to find someone you can trust with the health of your child. You can ask your friends who are also moms for referrals.

*Logan Rojas