Saturday, July 2, 2011

Shit, is it July 4th already?

One of the most appealing aspects of blogging is being able to chronicle my children's milestones. I'm sure that if this blog is still kicking around in 20 years or so, Junior and Diddlydoo will read it with glee and agree.

Or they'll sue me for privacy infringement. Either or.

Yesterday Junior celebrated a milestone I had smugly believed wouldn't arrive until he entered the public school system and was corrupted by other people's monsters: He learned a swear word.

I blame it on Diddlydoo.

I had placed Diddlydoo in the center of the bed and run out of the room for a millisecond when I heard Junior screaming, "He fell on his head! He fell, Mommy!"

I ran back into the room. Sure enough, Diddlydoo had rolled right off the bed. He was lying on the floor screaming.

So was I.

I didn't realize just what I had been screaming until we got to the hospital (okay, okay, so I freaked out and rushed him to the ER. Having a nurse look at me like I was a neurotic freak because Diddlydoo obviously was fine was preferable to spending the entire night holding my palm over Diddlydoo's nostrils to make sure he was still breathing. A woman needs to sleep now and then).

As we stood in the ER entrance Junior looked at me sweetly and said, "It's a bad thing Diddlydoo fell, right Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetie."

"Is that why you said 'shit'?"

We locked eyes.

"Shit," he said again, savoring the taste of the word. He looked at me and smiled, like we'd just shared a lovely secret. "Shit."

"Junior," I said, "that's a word that—"


"Junior, we don't—"

"Shit, shit, shit."

So here's the thing: Junior is old enough to know that there's a new word in town, and that it feels good to say it. I've explained that the curse is an adult word reserved for adults, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or four-year-old) to know that even with the most finely attuned emphasis, fiddlesticks and sugar just don't cut it when you're really upset—even if you sneer and spit as you say those words.

I ask you, what's the best way to temper the newfound deliciousness of swearing?

And while we're at it, what's the best way to deter your older kid from enjoying watching his younger sibling suffer, cause Junior told me that he was certain Diddlydoo's head would just fall off the bed, and that's why he didn't try to stop him from rolling.

My, oh my, they are savvy little beasts, aren't they?


Dysfunctional Mom said...

He is just now hearing this word for the first time? I am impressed. I was nowhere near as good at cleaning up my language.
My son was about one when his little ball rolled under the dryer and he said "Dammit!"
Could have been worse - trust me!

Brittney said...

Hhaha my son has mastered the word dick head! Yeah im a huge mama fail LOL

Pricilla said...

ARe you sure he didn't push Diddlydoo? I once saw my nephew push my little newborn niece off the couch. He was three. He said he wanted her to "go away."

Siblings. Not for the faint of heart.

Being Raised by Wolves said...

I became such a freak about Minnow's whereabouts with the other "kids"...My husband was less than pleased about my obsession...but one day the 8 year old and the 4 year old turned on their 3 year old full sibling and start kicking her deliberately and repeatedly without reason and then tell her they were "just kidding"...well pardon me if I don't just wallow in trust. Since my son isn't even fully blood related to them- I'm much more careful. (That said, he may have fallen off by himself, that happens obviously)

On another note- Kudos to you for watching your mouth better than I could...Minnow said the same one for the first time last week (He's one)

tootertotz said...

I am in good company but clearly my older son is far more advanced than yours...he has been swearing since he was about 2. Ha...what is motherhood if not a chance to pretend that swearing is an advanced skill when I am truly lacking in curbing my own potty mouth?!

His word of choice used to be 'fuck' which didn't bother me nearly as much b/c he had a speech delay and subbed in H sound for his F sound...the teachers at mom's day out didn't realize he was shouting fuck all the time. they just thought he had an affinity for Huck Finn or was always attemtping to start a football play and mispronouncing 'hike.' Ahhh, he has gotten over it and now I feel better about myself...I mean, I feel better about him. Ha!

Welcome to the club!

My opinion is in the minority without question but I figure that a swearing kid is the least of my worries. If he is still cussing in middle school and steering clear of all the drinking and mayhem I was causing at that age, I will tip my fucking hat to him.

Have a Happy 4th!

kyooty said...

I've heard that "actually" is said with the same emphasis as swear words. Maybe you could kind of move him over to a different word?

Jenni said...

I'm also impressed that he's only just started swearing. I say time him out, or take away privileges. That usually works for my 4 y.o.

Sorry the baby fell off the bed. Miles has done that many a time. Still does it. Once he broke a blood vessel in his eye and tore his upper lip frenulum. So awful :(

Mama Badger said...

What doesn't kill them makes them stronger, right? And every kid needs to be dropped now and then or they'd all be Einstein.

As for bad words, I just ignore them. So far it's worked.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Yeah, wait until the F word, then you're really living.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I have been told to just ignore them and they won't think it is funny anymore because you won't be angry and saying "Stop that!" So they will just stop saying it. That's the theory anyway. Damnit....wish I'd never said "bitchin" in front of my kid....*sigh*

That gentleman's lady said...

awwww :) Gotta love 'em :D

Keely said...

I just ignore it and hope it goes away. I've been lucky enough that he hasn't trotted out the expletives in polite company.

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