I spend all week trying to swim to.
Yet despite all that swimming, my ass never gets smaller.
(If you write a post about your patookis and Google "bikini butt" because you think a picture of a great butt would add to your post, be prepared to see a lot of pictures of Kim Kardashian's ass. Ca-ching!)
About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.