ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 40 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 8-year-old Junior, our 5-year-old Everett, our baby and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Bracket talk: (verb) 1. to TRY to communicate or exchange information, by speaking. 2. to TRY to make sounds suggestive of speech


Me: Pancakes for breakfast, Chuck?

Chuck: I'll make them—

Junior: Excuse me. Um, excuse me.

Me: Just a second, Junior.

Chuck: Where's the—

Junior: I have a question. Would you try to run faster than a train?

Me: Yes.

Chuck: No. So, Mrs. Mullet, what’s on tap for today? Should we—

Junior: Excuse me. Excuuuuuuuuuuse me. Um, excuse me.

Me: Just a second, Junior.

Junior: I have to ask you something! Have you ever eaten an orange?

Chuck: Your mother and I are trying to talk. Just a second.

Me: We could drive down to New Haven and—

Junior: Excuse me. Excuuuuuuuuuuse me. Um, excuse me.

Me: Go to the—

Chuck: Please don’t interrupt, Junior.

Junior: What if I didn’t have hands or feet?

Me: Peabody Museum. Why is he asking that?

Chuck: Junior, your mother and I are trying to talk. Don’t interrupt.

Me: Or we could stay—

Junior: Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me. Excuuuuuuuuuuse me.

Me: Closer to home. Just a minute, Junior.

Chuck: Yes, just a minute.

Junior: But I said excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me.

Chuck: It’s not polite to interrupt. We’ll be with you in a second.

Me: Or we could—

Junior: But I said excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Do trains run on tracks?

Chuck: Drive down to—

Junior: Do they?

Me: Fly to—

Junior: DO THEY?

Chuck: Hawaii—

Me: Alone—

Junior: DO THEY?

Me and Chuck: YES! For the love of God, YES!

They make protective bubbles for kid #2, right? For when kid #1 tries to push him out a window/return him via the mailbox/set his stroller on fire? They must.

Because this ain't gonna be perty.

14 comments:

Sparkling said...

if i didnt' have hands or feet?? what kind of kids shows is junior watching? i love it!!!!

Nanc Twop said...

Maybe you could get each of them a bubble...?

;-)

VandyJ said...

Just wait until Junior asks if you can take the new one back to where you got it. Once the novelty wears of they would rather take it back.

heather said...

At least he says excuse me. That's a good thing right?

NHGirl said...

No, they don't. My 12 month old already has had three black eyes, courtesy of his 2.5 year old brother. And this is with me home watching them all the time. I think it's a sibling rite of passage.

PS- Junior is hilarious. I mean, who thinks about what it's like not to have hands and feet? Cute.

Pricilla said...

At least he said excuuuuuuuuse me....right?

Jeanne said...

Of course they do. You have nothing to worry about. Nothing.

Frogs in my formula said...

It's the frequency of the "excuse me"s that makes me extra nervous.

Three black eyes??

SLColman said...

So, did you get to have your pancakes? Or did Junior excuse me that he didn't approve :)

Keely said...

Ugh, I have these same type of "conversations". Except X is MUCH less polite and just yells, "Mommy, stop talkin!".

The Mother said...

One day, kid #2 tried to push kid #3 out a plate glass window.

Kid got one teeny tiny sliver of glass in his foot.

If I were to believe in a God, that one had me come close. But--

We also had standing accounts in the ER for all the launched objects, thrown punches, misdirected shoves...

I don't really think bubble wrap'll do it.

Mrsbear said...

I think baby 2 will be safe, but once that kid gets verbal you might not have another uninterrupted adult conversation until he's in college. Sometimes I get all four of mine talking at me at once and one of them is 16, I'd at least figure she would know better but no...no she does not.

Lindy said...

I'd like to tell you it gets better as they get older but then a phone and text and email are involved in the interrupting.

Mammatalk said...

It might not be perty, but it will be beautiful, if that makes sense.
:+) Looking forward to hearing about the arrival of your newest tadpole.