Bracket talk: (verb) 1. to TRY to communicate or exchange information, by speaking. 2. to TRY to make sounds suggestive of speech

Me: Pancakes for breakfast, Chuck?

Chuck: I'll make them—

Junior: Excuse me. Um, excuse me.

Me: Just a second, Junior.

Chuck: Where's the—

Junior: I have a question. Would you try to run faster than a train?

Me: Yes.

Chuck: No. So, Mrs. Mullet, what’s on tap for today? Should we—

Junior: Excuse me. Excuuuuuuuuuuse me. Um, excuse me.

Me: Just a second, Junior.

Junior: I have to ask you something! Have you ever eaten an orange?

Chuck: Your mother and I are trying to talk. Just a second.

Me: We could drive down to New Haven and—

Junior: Excuse me. Excuuuuuuuuuuse me. Um, excuse me.

Me: Go to the—

Chuck: Please don’t interrupt, Junior.

Junior: What if I didn’t have hands or feet?

Me: Peabody Museum. Why is he asking that?

Chuck: Junior, your mother and I are trying to talk. Don’t interrupt.

Me: Or we could stay—

Junior: Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me. Excuuuuuuuuuuse me.

Me: Closer to home. Just a minute, Junior.

Chuck: Yes, just a minute.

Junior: But I said excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me.

Chuck: It’s not polite to interrupt. We’ll be with you in a second.

Me: Or we could—

Junior: But I said excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Do trains run on tracks?

Chuck: Drive down to—

Junior: Do they?

Me: Fly to—

Junior: DO THEY?

Chuck: Hawaii—

Me: Alone—

Junior: DO THEY?

Me and Chuck: YES! For the love of God, YES!

They make protective bubbles for kid #2, right? For when kid #1 tries to push him out a window/return him via the mailbox/set his stroller on fire? They must.

Because this ain't gonna be perty.