On Junior's first birthday, I outed Chuck.
On Junior's second birthday, I wrote a letter to Chuck's friend's girlfriend's breasts.
For Junior's third birthday party, my mother is helping me make cupcakes in the theme of Curious George. She suggested we use Milk Duds and banana candy to make a monkey.
"I'm thinking two Mild Duds for eyes and a banana for the nose," she said.
"You mean like this?"