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About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Could someone send some febreeze in case this really goes down?

There’s an old Chinese proverb that goes something like this: If the leg lamp matches the walls, don't unplug it and put it in the basement.

I reference it because Chuck and I are in the midst of a little game called "musical rooms."

Our upstairs consists of our bedroom, Junior’s bedroom, cat hair, a bathroom (remember this one?), my very pink office and Chuck’s odoriferous man room.

When we found out I was pregnant, I was ready and willing to surrender my room…to a girl. I envisioned plopping her crib into my she-cave and letting her revel in the pink, the flowers and show-girl lamps.

Most of all, I imagined that the wise words of Virginia Woolf, Joan Didion, and Maxine Hong Kingston (The Woman Warrior—grrrr!) would drift from my bookshelf

and into her brain as she peacefully slumbered. Their words would help her to become the kind of woman society doesn’t want her to be: an empowered woman who can keep her pants on.

Yes, I was eager to try and raise a smart non-slut.

As we all know, when we plan on rosebuds, life sometimes gives us a garden full of penises (that’s another proverb).

Unwilling to paint my office blue and lose my leg lamp, I shifted my eyes towards Chuck’s man room. It’s disheveled and frightening. I know there's a Mulletville fugitive hiding at the bottom of his closet:

Un-understandably, Chuck isn’t keen on giving up his space. Can you believe this guy? In a house that’s soon to be bursting with testosterone, he’s worried about having personal space for farting and scratching. Meanwhile, after Boy #2 enters the world, I’m worried I’m going to need my pink foo-foo shit more than ever. Like a crackhead needs crack. I can see myself licking the girly lampshades on bad days. I'm serious.

So all weekend, I worked on Chuck. And finally, somewhere in between Fourth of July hotdog number five and six, he offered this compromise: he'd give up his man room to Junior and the new kid, and he'd move his moldy socks and comic books into Junior's room.

Sounds great, right? But here's my question: What's your experience with shared bedrooms? When I shared a room with my older step-sister, she laid barbed wire around her bed because she thought I had preteen cooties. I felt like a leper. On the flip side, Chuck and his brother giggled the night away in their shared bedroom.

Can it really work?


Sparkling said...

OMG that lamp- I want one!!!! It's so outrageous, it's hysterical. Where did you find it?

I didn't share a room with my sister for long, but even when we all had our own rooms, they still managed to get in and mess with my stuff. You just can't win when you're the older sister.

Small Town Mommy said...

I have 2 girls so I am probably no help in this type of situation. I had my girls sharing a room for a short while and it didn't work very well. At the time, one child needed less sleep than the other so she would sit there and poke her sister, asking if she was awake. This continued until her sister was able to answer yes.

Mrsbear said...

My two boys share a room and it actually works out quite well, at least now when they're still little. They're less afraid in the dark because they know they're not alone.

The girls also share a room and they loathe each other. "At least," I tell them, "you each have your own beds." Growing up, my sister and I shared a full sized mattress and slept ass to ass most nights. We got along just fine.

No, actually, just when she was starting to doze off I'd pinch her as hard as I could on the butt.

I was a horrible big sister.

Your boys will do fine.

And hold on to your girl room. I'd kill for one of my own.

Whitney said...

I think it must be different for boys, because my older sister and I shared a room and I wasn't too fond of it....and I'm sure she wasn't either.

Love the lamp! And all the BOOKS!!!!

Lisa said...

Holy HELL that's a load of books! Can I come by sometime and stare at the shelves in wonder?

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

That lamp scares me... a little. I mean I like it, but scares me. Or at least it would in the middle of the night when I would think that one of the neighborhood whores stopped by for a drink or something. Don't ask. It's a small town, like Mulletville, but it's oh so scary at times.

You can do this. You can live with all those men in the house. You must survive. For all of us women out there who also live with all men. Granted, I only have two right now (unless you count the dog, but that was taken away from him so long ago so he's kind of an "it"), but i need someone to tell me that I will make it out of this burning fire of testosterone!

Stacie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacie said...

I shared a room with my older (by one year) step-sister for a while. I was a neat freak even at an early age - she was not. We drew a line with masking tape down the center of the room.

A year later we moved and finally had separate rooms. I always ended up sleeping in her room because I didn't want to be away from her (or alone).

Mad Woman said...

When I was 16, my parents made me share a room with my 5 year old sister. HELL!

When Girl Spawn was 5 and Boy Spawn was 3, they shared for about a year. After a first few initial tough nights where they wanted to talk and giggle til 11pm, they settled down and it was fine.

You might be ok with two boys! Girls are bitchy.

LOVE that lamp..I want me one!

Lindy said...

I shared a room with younger sister and hated it. BUT - we are 5 years apart.

Thyra G said...

My 2 girls (3 1/2 and 5) share a room and so far, so good. I shared with my sister (4 yrs. younger) and it was annoying and reached critical mass when I hit the teens and then I took over the den downstairs. Good luck!

Pricilla said...

I can only speak to my remembrances with my brothers. Until I was 10 I shared a room with my younger (by four years) brother 'cause there was nowhere else to put him. We did OK.

Then the other two came along and the three boys went into one room and I was queen.

I remained queen when we moved into a bigger house where my eldest brother had his own room as well and the babies (born 13 months apart) shared until I went and got married. I think they were happy I was getting married so they could each have their own room as opposed to the fact that I had found the love of my life. But I digress.

The younger boys being so close in age did fine together. No fights, no problems.

Jenni said...

My boys are 18 months apart and have been sharing for about six months. It's gone pretty smoothly, but sometimes we have to put Oscar to sleep in our room and transfer him so he doesn't keep Miles (the little) awake with is shenanigans. But, now they have different bedtimes, so it's a snap. And, when the baby wakes, he usually does not wake his brother, and vice versa.

Grace said...

Remember Virginia Woolf - Every woman needs a room of her own. Don't give up your sanctuary - ever - for anyone. The boys will do fine sharing a room.

Mama Badger said...

We're in the same situation. We're holding out on deciding on whether or not to let the boys share a room. For right now, little o is in the "office". If it seems like he and LG will hit it off (instead of hit eachother) he'll move in with LG. If not, we'll give up the guest room and make people get hotel rooms when they come to visit.

I say put the baby into the girly room to start (it will be all womb like and krappe). If it seems like it will work, let them share a room. If not, face the music then.

Jen said...

I love your lamp! Is it from Fragile?

I think you can make the two small penises share a room, they will be close enough in age where they will probably spend a good deal of time laughing and farting on each other.

Sara said...

Sharing a room will be fine for them. I think it'll take until the baby is 2 or so and sleeping thru the night but that will work out. My two have been sharing since the youngest was 18 months old. They aren't ready to go to their own room yet. So I've set up an air mattress for me to sleep in the spare room for when they want to come sleep with us at night. I may have musical bed issues. Just negate my advice. ha!

Keep you girl room, though. :D

Ms. Salti said...

I don't have kids and didn't have to share a room... sorry, I'm no help. My best friend's boys (who are two years apart) share a room and do pretty well. I think you'll be just fine! Good luck, just in case!

Suzi said...

It can work. I have a 2 bedroom house and 3 boys. Obviously 1 room is my bedroom and the other is theirs. They have their moments of swinging from the chandeliers and moments of mortal combat. At least it keeps things interesting.

Brandy said...

I'm a little behind. but congrats on having a boy - yes another boy. they can share clothes.

And I don't know about the room sharing but I can see it wouldn't work while the whole waking during the night thing. you don't want them both awake

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Is it wrong that I don't have advice, that I just got on here to see what other people say so I can prepare if our baby #2 is a girl? Moving rooms is such a hassle! I know it's why we bought a bigger house and all, but still...

judemiller1 said...

The lamp--straight out of that Christmas story about the kid who wanted a rifle for Christmas. I love it!!

Laila said...

I would give anything, ANYTHING for an extra room to lock one of my boys in right now. They HATE sharing a room and fight 23 3/4 hours a day. I think everyone needs space of there own. Growing up in a family with six kids I got a room of my own for exactly, NEVER and I hated it cuz my sister was so messy. Trust me, you aren't missing anything with all the penises in the house. My daughter came after the two boys and she can fart and scratch better than all of them. Half the time she puts her brothers clothes on and insists on being called Nick.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

I think anything is doable. your kids will let you know what works and what doesn't.

My two older kids would be GREAT roommates. Unfortunately, one's a boy and one's a girl. So, no-go. My #2 and #3 kids do share a room, and they're both boys. Nightly we have a fight about #3 leaving #2 alone. They are polar opposites personality-wise. Also, #4 and #5 share a room (both girls). They are 7 mos and 32 mos. It all works out. I think the harder thing is to wrap your mind around the fact that, sometimes, chaos is the new norm. Having a kid who "goes down easily" may become a thing of the past. Maybe I'm just all about accepting lowered expectations, but really it's more a survival instinct than anything else.

I didn't depress you, did I?

Trina said...

I shared a room with my older-by-two-years brother until 5th grade. That was a lot of room sharing...with bunk beds, no less. We also bathed together until my brother got pubic hair and my parents realized how old we'd gotten, I guess.

We got along great in the room, but pretty much at all other times, too. People make their kids share rooms ALL the time. Try it out, and if it fails, move 'em.

Good luck! My brother and I have a great relationship, and I think the room-sharing helped build it.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Boys don't have hangups about sharing a two get along just fine...if pretending to kill each other just to freak me out consists of doing just fine....

Congrats on another boy (no, I lie!! I'm so sorry. I felt the same way when I found out about boy #2)