From Curious George and the Dump Truck
Junior: "Mommy, why is George climbing out of a butt?"
Me: "Sweetie, he's not. He's climbing out of dirt."
Junior: "He's climbing out of a butt!"
Me: "It's not a butt. It's two piles of dirt. Dirt Curious George naughtily dumped out of a dump truck when he didn't have permission."
Junior: "He's in a butt!"
Me: "Are we ready to turn the page?"
Junior: "Is he in a butt?"
Me: "It's dirt!"
Junior: "Wait, Mommy, wait! Whose butt is it?"
Me: "Junior, I told you—"
Junior: "I know it's a butt, Mommy. Why is he in a butt?"
Me: (Sighing heavily) "Because Geroge fell off the dump truck so hard he landed in someone's butt."
Junior: "He did?"
Me: "Yes. He landed in the gardener's butt."
Junior: (Exploding into laughter) "He did? And then he climbed out?"
Me: "Yes. It was a long climb, but he made it."
Me: "Why what?"
Junior: "Why was it a long climb?"
Me: "Because people's intestines are miles long."
Me: "Can we turn the page now?"
Junior: "Hold on." (Studying page) "Ok."
About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.