Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The black eye went so well with my prom dress

Found in the closet in the den: my high school health record.



If you can't read that it says "Student was hit in face with a ball during a Physical Education class."

A dodgeball to be exact.

Unlike my friend Karen, who looked gorgeous even after she took a hockey puck to the mouth during gym class, I was not so lucky. My eye puffed up and turned bright red. It was speckled with broken blood vessels. It turned black.

Then purple. Then yellow.

At the time, I blamed my testicular wonder of a gym teacher for letting the boys hurl their balls at the girls with little supervision (isn't that always the way?). If was, of course, my own fault. I was hopelessly uncoordinated.

I may have also been high on Pamprin.

Despite my shiner, the prom wasn't a total bust. I drank a lot of Miller Lite and cheap, warm vodka in the middle of the woods and got tree branches stuck in the lace of my dress. I had a huge crush on my date, who was an upperclassman. He was nice enough to make out with me before telling me he was taking someone else to his prom.

It wasn't the best of times; it wasn't the worst of times.

Would I do it all over again as an adult—even without the black eye and the ability to get trashed first in the comfort of my living room? Absolutely not.

I was surprised to read that some people would.

Don't we already have an occasion for getting dressed up, drinking too much and dancing? Isn't it known as a wedding reception?

What do you think? Was your prom the best night of your life or do you daydream about getting a do-over? If you do, do you want to borrow my dress?

10 comments:

Pricilla said...

I did not go to my prom
sniff
I didn't have my first date until I was out of high school.
sniff
Then I met my husband to be.
He was the third guy I dated.
I guess my wedding was my prom.
My wedding dress dates me as your prom dress dates you.
Those were the years

VandyJ said...

I went to my junior prom with a friend. I did not go to my senior prom. Didn't miss a thing. Don't want to do it again.
Although I did go to a bad prom party. It was, well I won't go straight to fun, but the alcohol flowed freely and I don't really remember much about it.

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

People who re-live the glory days (and those days being high school) needs to have their heads checked, yo! High school was the nastiest, ugliest, worst version of(wo)man kind all wrapped up in a building that smelled perpetually like bad cheese.

So, that would be a no on wanting to do it again.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

I didn't go to my prom....my boyfriend (who I later married, then divorced) didn't want to go and I was too much of a wuss to push the issue or go alone.
I wouldn't do it over at this age though! No way.

Sparkling said...

i didn't go to my junior prom because no one asked me and i refused to do the asking. i went to my senior prom and liked it. i dont' really drink, so that wasn't even part of the plan. and my friends didn't either, so we were all very sober. it's a good thing no one else was because at the end, we did a very choreographed dance that we were all practicing for a school play. a bunch of us thought it was perfect to do to the beat of some song, so we did. i had a blast. no one else noticed because they were probably drunk. i should find a picture and write a post about my prom instead of taking up space on yours!

Elizabeth said...

Um...I know I went to my senior prom, and I'm pretty sure I didn't drInk, but oddly, I don't really remember much about it other than that I wore this godawful green lame strapless dress with a big green lame bow at the waist (yes, that's supposed to have an accent, but hey, regular "lame" works too!) Hey, it was the 80s, right. And the guy I went with was the sadly lovestruck friend of the then love of my life, who'd recently ditched me for a ho. I in fact got a "wassup" text this very afternoon from said former love of my life. The son he has with the ho turns 21 next week. Damn, I'm getting old. The whole prom thing is incomprehensible to me now--I would rather die than dress up like that now.

Mama Badger said...

I did the whole prom thing, a couple of times. It was fun, dress up, drink a little, dance. No regrets, but I certainly don't want a do over. I'm happy there are some things you only do once or twice and then move on (childbirth, anyone?)

snarkygurl said...

Went to four proms. First one was with the first guy I ever french kissed, and who later came out of the closet. The next two were as favors for friends who didn't have dates. And my senior year, three of us decided to go stag and dance with everyone else's dates. If I had to repeat a prom, that would be the one.

I still enjoy dressing up and going out on occasion, as long as there are no puffy long dresses involved.

gretchen said...

I, too, went to the prom with a friend. Which is such a non-story. I wish I had something to tell, that I'd lost my virginity or tripped on mushrooms. Or even that I'd just sat at home crying softly to myself. But no, it was nice. I had a good, but unmemorable time. Sigh.

Jana@anattitudeadjustment.com said...

I might want to borrow your dress, because it is SMOKIN'! And "testicular wonder of a gym teacher"? I had a few of those, but I never would have put it so wonderfully.

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