Found in the closet in the den: my high school health record.
If you can't read that it says "Student was hit in face with a ball during a Physical Education class."
A dodgeball to be exact.
Unlike my friend Karen, who looked gorgeous even after she took a hockey puck to the mouth during gym class, I was not so lucky. My eye puffed up and turned bright red. It was speckled with broken blood vessels. It turned black.
Then purple. Then yellow.
At the time, I blamed my testicular wonder of a gym teacher for letting the boys hurl their balls at the girls with little supervision (isn't that always the way?). If was, of course, my own fault. I was hopelessly uncoordinated.
I may have also been high on Pamprin.
Despite my shiner, the prom wasn't a total bust. I drank a lot of Miller Lite and cheap, warm vodka in the middle of the woods and got tree branches stuck in the lace of my dress. I had a huge crush on my date, who was an upperclassman. He was nice enough to make out with me before telling me he was taking someone else to his prom.
It wasn't the best of times; it wasn't the worst of times.
Would I do it all over again as an adult—even without the black eye and the ability to get trashed first in the comfort of my living room? Absolutely not.
I was surprised to read that some people would.
Don't we already have an occasion for getting dressed up, drinking too much and dancing? Isn't it known as a wedding reception?
What do you think? Was your prom the best night of your life or do you daydream about getting a do-over? If you do, do you want to borrow my dress?