About me: I'm 40 and eight months pregnant. My husband Chuck, our 7-year-old Junior, our 4-year-old Everette and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Why my shoes are on the wrong feet and I’m lying face down on the front lawn, smattered pieces of brain in my hands
Prenatal vitamin: Take one hour before or two-three hours after meals
Blood glucose test: Take four times a day, two hours after beginning meal
Junior’s pre-op ear tube surgery instructions: Nothing to eat after midnight
Arrival of beeping garbage truck: 4:32 a.m.
Junior’s ear tube surgery arrival time: 8:00 a.m.
Major project at work: Teleconference in at 11 a.m.
OB-GYN ultrasound appointment to follow up on gestational diabetes diagnosis: 12:40 p.m.
Follow-up appointment at Mulletville Diabetes Clinic: 1:30 p.m.
Phone calls to family members/friends/post-op doctors to say “Junior is just fine”: 7
Average length of phone calls despite intentions to keep short by only saying “Mmhmm”: 12 minutes
Work files due at printer: 3:30 p.m.
Arrival time of yet another person who wants to look at my house but won’t make an offer because the street is too busy: 4:45 p.m.
Actual time work files were sent to printer: 6:15 p.m.
Number of fat cats crying to be fed: 2
Average weight of dirty dishes in sink: 7.2 lbs.
Ear drops for Junior: Three times a day in each ear for five days
Number of times attempted self-performed lobotomy: Not enough