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About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Why my shoes are on the wrong feet and I’m lying face down on the front lawn, smattered pieces of brain in my hands

Prenatal vitamin: Take one hour before or two-three hours after meals

Blood glucose test: Take four times a day, two hours after beginning meal

Junior’s pre-op ear tube surgery instructions: Nothing to eat after midnight

Arrival of beeping garbage truck: 4:32 a.m.

Junior’s ear tube surgery arrival time: 8:00 a.m.

Major project at work: Teleconference in at 11 a.m.

OB-GYN ultrasound appointment to follow up on gestational diabetes diagnosis: 12:40 p.m.

Follow-up appointment at Mulletville Diabetes Clinic: 1:30 p.m.

Phone calls to family members/friends/post-op doctors to say “Junior is just fine”: 7

Average length of phone calls despite intentions to keep short by only saying “Mmhmm”: 12 minutes

Work files due at printer: 3:30 p.m.

Arrival time of yet another person who wants to look at my house but won’t make an offer because the street is too busy: 4:45 p.m.

Actual time work files were sent to printer: 6:15 p.m.

Number of fat cats crying to be fed: 2

Average weight of dirty dishes in sink: 7.2 lbs.

Ear drops for Junior: Three times a day in each ear for five days

Number of times attempted self-performed lobotomy: Not enough


Mrs. Tuna said...


Pricilla said...

Who's brain? That's what I want to know. Did you kill Chuck?

The Mother said...

And you can't even drink! Arrgh!

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I am exhausted just reading this LOL

Jeanne said...

Maybe it's time to start your maternity leave.

SmartBear said...

I need a drink now... poor thing.
Sending you virtual chocolate.

SLColman said...

Holy carp! How did you ever make it through that day???

Keely said...

Oh, that was YOU I stepped over on my way to put my head in the oven. So sorry, I smeared your brain.

(hang in there.)

Twisted Cinderella said...

Oh dear!