Hump Day

Day 2.

This is going to take some getting used to.

In addition to the terrible pangs I am getting for Junior—who seems to be handling this new arrangement a lot better than I— noxious office chatter is slowly eating my insides…

For instance, Kim informed everyone standing by the photo copier that she learned more from watching HBO’s series John Adams than she did from all her years of social studies in high school. And she was pissed about it!

“I never knew John Adams’ wife was depressed!” (Unfortunately she just got braces so her statement actually sounded more like, “I schnever schknew John schladams slwife schlwas dseplessed!”

Things I also learned from Kim today:

She’s having leftover fish for dinner. It was fine last night, it’ll be fine tonight.

If your neighbor moves and leaves behind all her farm animals, Animal Control still considers that neglect, even though domestic livestock falls under a different category than regular pets.

She likes the new packaging of the Kraft salad dressing (Kraft, if you’re reading this, Kim is your best candidate for a focus group). Call her vain but it makes eating salads more fun!

As weary as I am from listening to this drivel, it’s a nice distraction from the inquiries about my mental health. If they haven’t stopped by this afternoon I’m making a sign for my door that says, “If you ask me how I am doing/what arrangements I have made for childcare/how it feels to be back/if I miss my child I am going to punch your effin lights out.”

Ah Hump Day!