ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 40 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 8-year-old Junior, our 5-year-old Everett, our baby and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Friday, August 3, 2012

When they come down the stairs...

...after you have put them to bed, and you're exhausted because they were up the previous night throwing up or losing stuffed animals or falling apart because their blankets were askew, and they look at you and moan, "I'm still hungry" or "I need a drink" and you quickly—urgently! expediently!—shuffle them back upstairs and plop them down—urgently! expediently! before they can make any new requests!—and kiss them again and tell them GOOD NIGHT again, and you close the door and quietly, gingerly, tiptoe away and collapse onto the couch...

When those things happen, I am reminded of horror movies. You know the scenes: the good guy has just shot/stabbed/weed whacked the bad guy and the good guy takes one last trepidatious walk around the body, hoping—praying—he's finally in the clear and

WHAM! The bad guy leaps up and grabs the good guy's ankle and attempts to get him just ONE LAST TIME—"I'm still hungry"—and the good guy grasps at whatever he can—'Too bad, you should have eaten more dinner!"—to impale the bad guy just ONE LAST TIME, JUST PLEASE LET THIS TIME BE IT.

Personally, the final scene of "Sleeping with the Enemy" always comes to mind (perhaps because it takes place at the bottom of the stairwell) but really, you can custom-fit this little mental game to any of your favorite slasher films.

Special, huh? This post is so going in the kids' baby books.

6 comments:

S said...

Are you sure you weren't sitting in my house this evening?

Adventures as a Small Town Mom said...

Ha! I was just visiting my sister last weekend and her son was supposed to go up to bed. I think he stalled for a good 10 minutes - 'Mom, next day (he says next day instead of tomorrow) let's color. OK?' 'Mom, did you see what I made for you? It's on the fridge.' - he goes over and gets it down. 'See mom?!'

Honestly I was amazed at how many things he was able to come up with to stall - pretty impressive.

Jeanne said...

They do that to grandmas too, only we're a lot older and more tired. Seriously, having the g-kids around is a blast right up until bedtime. Then it all falls apart.

If you get a minute, please come read my thoughts on this weeks' Chick-Fil-A appreciation day. It's been a rough week for moms of gays and I feel the need for validation.

Small Town Mommy said...

My daughter does that every single night! We tuck her into bed and then she comes back. I don't know why we even bother to tuck her in at night.

Keely said...

omg, I thought I was the only one who thought that. Then he runs to the other bedroom without telling us and it's like the Chucky movie, the pitter-patter of evil little feet.

I miss sleep.

Leanne said...

I remember those days. Now I wake up in the morning and wonder what time my kids actually went to bed. I can't stay as late as they can to make sure they GO. TO. SLEEP.