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About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Mmmm. Waffle cone, please

As I was feeding Diddly at 2:30 a.m. last night, I decided I'd write a breastfeeding update post.

I know, I know. Hooray.

So many of you left encouraging comments on the post I wrote in which I expressed my disappointment and anger over not getting a delivery from the Milk Fairy, I thought it'd be neat to do an update. Wouldn't people like to know, for instance, that I'm still at it? Offering the girls at every feeding, even though what Diddly gets from me is akin to a cube of cheese at a seven course dinner?

It's not a cheese plate but dammit, that won't stop me.

When I signed into my account however, so I could get my blog thing on, I was side-tracked by the 5,987,733 emails with subject lines like "For your blog! A boob story!" and "This made me think of you and your blog!"

All led me to this story:

I'm so happy that a story about breast milk ice cream (called Baby Gaga, no less) makes you think of little old me. Seriously, thank you.

I thought I'd read the article and immediately vomit (even breastfeeding stalwarts have to admit it's kind of icky), but I was too fascinated by the rationale behind the ice cream to upchuck. Like, the woman who donated her stuff actually said "...if adults realised how tasty breast milk was more new mothers would be encouraged to breastfeed."

Really? Throngs of people walking down the street, merrily licking their cones then smacking their foreheads and crying out "Shit, this is delicious! We simply must get our aunt/sister/school teacher to breastfeed!"?


Then there's Icecreamists founder Matt O'Connor who said, "No-one's done anything interesting with ice cream in the last hundred years."

But of course. Ice cream is so boring. Why not increase the price and skeeve factor by making it from a new "free-range" human source? (Incidentally, free-range simply means that the food source has ample room to walk around. How the mobility of a lactating woman effects the ice cream's appeal is beyond me.)

It's just silly. Silly, I tell ya!

Anyway. Would you order a double scoop? Could you?


Magpie said...

Could I what? Eat it? I don't think so. And supply being what it is, wouldn't that milk be better going to a milk bank?

VandyJ said...

The squick factor is just too high for me. That is definitely not going to be on my must have list. Eww, just ewww!

Pricilla said...

Uhm, no.

Now goat's milk ice cream? I am all over that.

SRM said...

Seriously? Seriously???!

Sparkling said...

That is just so disgusting. So very disgusting. I can't even imagine. The skeeve factor is way too high. It don't find cow's milk ice cream boring at all. In fact, I'm happy to stay with and not venture out into soymilk, goat's milk, mom's milk.

Lindy said...

I call BS on the free-range. Anyone who is the Mom to an infant, knows the mobility factor is less than a few feet.

Joan said...

It's free range AND lets not forget organic. Mommybloggers are going to stampede. Circle the wagons!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

NOT DONE ANYTHING INTERESTING WITH ICE CREAM IN THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS???? Have they not tasted fat-free breyer's ice cream? That shit didn't just fall out of a tree, ya know.

Breastmilk ice cream is so radically disgusting that I'm going to go ahead and leave it to the crunchy granola people to gobble it up. I bet there will be a "teats and treats" storefront in Seattle any day now.

Jenni said...

I love ice cream, but I could not bring myself to consume another person's bodily fluids.

Jenni said...

And good for you, for keeping at it. Gold stars.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Ah, no thank you. Well maybe with a cherry on top.

Nanc Twop said...

Would you order a double scoop?

Well, since boobies come in pairs, they've probably already made the double scoop mandatory.

*Still not scoop'n it up.

HumorSmith said...

Now would be the time to open that Boob & Jerry's franchise!

Keely said...

Hm. I wonder what they pay their sources.

What? I'm sure I could start lactating again if I was really motivated.

The Mother said...

Technically, ALL ice cream is made from breast milk--just from non-human mammals.

And are they getting HIV tests on all their milk cows?

Sparkling said...

This breastmilk ice cream news made it to my local paper today. $22.50 per scoop, it says.

BUt the real reason I stopped by is because some friends of mine were talking about some funeral for a guy in CT and one of them was so shocked that there are rednecky places in CT. That's not all Greenwich. I was thinking about you in ugly Mulletville!!

Leanne said...

I saw this too and got as far as the title before I ran away screaming. No, I would NOT try it. I don't even like to THINK about it.
Oh, and if I was you? I'd have given up bf'ing by now. Good luck! I'm impressed.

Jeanne said...


marybt said...

The problem is that men will want in on the act and, before you know it, they will be offering semen protein shakes. But you'll only be able to buy them by the tablespoon.

Lord, I apologize.

Nanc Twop said...


If you didn't get that double-scoop already, it may be too late.

Seems the UK health board gave this stuff a chilly reception...