I had some time to reread my blog. Yes, I just blogged about not having enough time for anything, now suddenly I'm blogging every two days and rereading posts to boot.
Life is weird like that.
In rereading some posts, I realized what a crazed, whiny nutbrain I sound like. Granted, life is chaotic right now (two kids, two working parents, overeager grandparents), but I want do better. I want to see better.
The first step is this.
The second step is...well, the second step is usually the harder one, isn't it? The second step is when you actually get off the pot, then the ensuing steps kind of fall into place.
One hopes.
All I know is this: Last week I tacked up the following quote from Anaïs Nin on my wall at work. My co-workers have since accused me of being a nerd. I don't care. They don't get it:
“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”
I think I am going to quit.
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3 comments:
Good for you! And best of luck. I am feeling the same way. As I await the birth of my 2nd (and final) child and start my 1st in pre school I feel myself eager to ask about her day, wanting to live every moment with her again. A 3 year old can't/won't relive their day for me. I'm getting close...too close.
*gasp!*
I wasn't expecting that, but I'm really excited for you! Woo hoo to quitting!
yeah, I thought about quitting many times when my kids were smaller (as in newborn). Then, I would take a day off and stay home the whole day with both of them. By the end of it, I get convinced that there is no way in hell that I can do this for 7 straight days, week after week, month after month etc!! I'm just not that patient.
This is not any attempt to discourage you. I am very happy for you (truly) and wish you all the best if you do decide to quit. I believe that you have!
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