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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Everything comes with a price tag

If your mother frequently babysits your children, you may happen to stumble upon her diary one day, which she may have left on top of some newspapers on your kitchen table while she ran to the grocery store.

You may happen to leaf through a few pages, against your better judgment. (Alas, old habits are hard to break.)

You may happen to scan the pages for your name and, in doing so, come across a page in which she describes you as over-bearing and too serious, both with her and your children. You may also notice that she called your husband detached and depressed. "Runs errands for hours, seemingly."

When your mother returns from the store you may have to shotgun a bottle of wine to keep yourself from strangling her. After she leaves you may find yourself muttering like a madman and doing things you don't normally do, like riding your son's scooter around the neighborhood as you curse.

But hey, it's free childcare, right? And no one loves your kids like your parents do, right?

Sigh.

It doesn't get easier, does it?

9 comments:

Pricilla said...

Nothing in life is free.
You had to buy that wine, didn't you?

Working Mommy said...

Well...at least you have something to tell your therapist :) Or now have a reason to get one!!

WM

judemiller1 said...

I wonder--hm-mm. Did she just "accidently" leave it there--right out in the open--for "someone" to read? Mother's are sneaky that way--too hard to confront issues--perhaps easier for you to read them instead? LOL
I don't even know her, but I love your mother!!!

GUAMtastic said...

Wow. Just wow. At least it's free....

Magpie said...

ouch. and no, it doesn't get easier...

SmartBear said...

Gah! I could thump you on the head right now...and then give you another glass of wine. What were you thinking?
Just erase it from your brain. We all write down things we think and never say out loud. Things we think about our mothers, husbands, friends, etc.
Best,
Tina

LazyBones said...

Dude! Why did she bring her diary to babysitting? That should be a banned practice, past the teen years.

You, on the other hand, need to listen to Ru Paul: it's none of my business what other people think of me.

I'm not sure Ru was including one's own mother, but, you know. Aw fuck, just have another glass of wine.

Jeanne said...

Note to self: NEVER leave a diary lying around where daughter can read it.

Sheesh, I figured once I was out of my parents' house I was safe from that.

Lady Goo Goo Gaga said...

Omg!!!! I might have to consider paying someone....I wouldn't be able to control my mouth!!!